Re: A few to make you laugh

[Jim Davis <alarminex@xxxxxxx>]

On Sunday, April 19, 2020 at 4:50:13 PM UTC-4, Bob La Londe wrote:
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> A poor hunchback had lost his arms in a riding accident.  He got by on=20
> the charity of others for a while, but living on the street and begging=
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> wounded his pride to much.  He was determined to find some job he could=
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> do no matter how menial.  Earning a living no matter how meager was=20
> better than sleeping in doorways and begging.
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> He went into every business in town asking for work.  Most threw him out=
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> before he had the chance to ask.  Finally he showed up in front of a=20
> church.  He started inside when a priest saw him and said "Hey come=20
> around back.  We will feed you and give you a coin."
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> "No.  Replied the hunchback.  I don't want charity.  I want to earn my=20
> own way.  Do you have any jobs I could do?"
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> The priest looked him up and down trying to appear kindly as he=20
> evaluated the hunchback.  "No, he replied. I don't think so.  Our bell=20
> ringer has passed away, but without arms I don't see how you could do=20
> that job."
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> The hunchback said.  "LET ME TRY!  I want to be a service to my=20
> community.  Not a hindrance."
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> "Ok, you ring the bell at the right times, and you can have the job.  If=
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> you can do it you will sleep in the tower, eat with the priests, and=20
> every Monday will give you a few coins you can use for the things you=20
> might need.  If you can not do the job though you are out.  We can't=20
> have a bell ringer that can't ring the bell."
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> The hunchback hurried to the church tower.  Services would be starting=20
> soon and he needed to show his worth.  He tried grabbing the bell rope=20
> with his feet.  He tried grabbing the bell rope in his mouth.  Nothing=20
> was working.  He climbed the tower to stare directly at the bell.  It=20
> was like it was taunting him.  Finally out of frustration I got back=20
> against one wall and ran at the bell.  He just bounced off of it and=20
> than he heard a gong as the bell rang.  He had it.  It was going to be=20
> hard, but he knew he had a job.  He could make a living.  He became the=
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> church's bell ringer.  Each time he needed to ring the bell he would get=
=20
> up against the wall and run at the bell hard to make it ring.  He did it=
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> as many times as needed.  Whether it was to alert the town of an=20
> emergency, let them know services were about to start, or just ring the=
=20
> time.  He took pride in his work.
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> For decades he performed the chore he had found for himself.  As he got=
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> older his eyesight began to fail, but it was no matter.  It was a big=20
> bell.  He continued to do the job even if he struggled to climb down and=
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> back up the stairs at meal times.  He continued on for years more.
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> One day he prepared to ring the bell for an important ceremony.  He had=
=20
> decided he was going to ring the bell louder than ever. He got back=20
> against the wall and aimed as best as he could at the big blur that was=
=20
> all he could see of the giant bell anymore.  He ran as hard as he could=
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> at the bell, but he glance off the side of it.  Stumbling to recover his=
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> balanced he came up to the open window and fell to his death on the=20
> sidewalk below.
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> A crowd of townspeople began to gather.  "Who is it?" one would ask.
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> "Where did he come from?" another chimed in.
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> One older fellow walk up to peer closely at the dead hunchback and said,=
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> "I'm not sure who he is but his face rings a bell."

One day this guy goes into a bar. The bartender is standing there and he=E2=
=80=99s got a big hump on his back.The guy says, how much is a dry martini?=
 The bartender say=E2=80=99s $22.00. What? That=E2=80=99s pretty high.Well,=
 how much is a shot of Tequila? The bartender say=E2=80=99s $15.00. Holy cr=
ap, that=E2=80=99s a lot of money.Well then, how much is a glass of beer? T=
he bartender says $8.00. The guy says, Well, Ok, Give me
a beer. So they=E2=80=99re talking for awhile and the bartender says, =E2=
=80=9CSay, you=E2=80=99re a pretty nice guy.=E2=80=9D Usually when people c=
ome in here they make fun of my hump. The guy say=E2=80=99s =E2=80=9CHump?=
=E2=80=9D I didn=E2=80=99t know it was a hump.=20
Every thing else is so high in here =E2=80=94 I thought is was your ass.=E2=
=80=9D=20

(again, Thank you Buddy Hacket)