Re: A few to make you laugh

[Bob La Londe <none@none.com99>]

On 4/19/2020 9:08 AM, ABLE1 wrote:
> There was this realtor that got a call from a prospective buyer.
> The caller said he was new to the area and was looking for a house.
> He said that it had to have a lo'stau.  So the realtor thought of
> the perfect house for the guy.  They set a time and meet at the house.
> They walked through the front door and there was this beautiful statue
> of the Venus Di Milo in the foyer.  The buyer looked through the entire
> house at his leisure.  Returned to the front door and said.
> "I lika da house but there is no lo'stau!!  Whata elsea you gots."
>
> So the realtor was a bit puzzled, but being the professional he was
> he said there was a house across town that might suit.  So, they
> met at another house.  This house had a large granite statue in the
> front yard of Zeus.  As well as a few other smaller statues around
> the yard of other mythical creatures.  The buyer got out of the car
> and started his walk through.  Once he finished he returned to the
> car and said  "I lika dis house hasa well but there is no lo'stau!!
> Whata elsea you gots."
>
> Now the realtor is trying to remain cool.  But, he about to reach
> the end of his rope.  But again being the professional he was says.
> I know of another house that may be of your liking but it will take
> a couple of days to set up a walk through.
> The buyer says "Datsa ok, you a leta me know."
>
> A couple of days later the realtor has the new house set for a show.
> He brought in a multitude of statues from around the area to this one
> big house.  There are statues at the gate entrance, in the front yard,
> in house entrance, small ones in the kitchen, in the basement, in the
> dining room, by the pool, even in the master bath!!  Surely this will
> meet the buyers request.  The buyer shows up.  Does an entire walk
> through that takes over an hour.  He returns to the realtor and says.
> "I lika da house but there is NO lo'stau!!"
>
> The realtor loses it and screams at the buyer.
> YOU CAN"T SEE THE STATUES?? THEY ARE EVERY WHERE!!!
>
> The buyer says no.  Thatsa nota what I a wanta.  I wanta one of
> dhosa dhings you a pick up and say "hello is dat you"!!
>

I first heard that as a Polack joke when I was a kid.  My mom is Polish
and German (primarily) and she used to know all the best Polack jokes.
Her maiden name was Clements which had been shortened from Clementski
when her grandfather came from the old country.  Very Polish.  LOL.

Halo'Statu

You did a very good job of telling it in type, but its really an audible.

... and in his thick Polish accent he said, "I want a little halo'statu
in the corner."

"A hallow statue mused?" the realtor.  "Ok.  People want what they want."

This is one of those areas were PC has destroyed a basically harmless
racial joke.  In this age you just can't tell it right without being
branded a racist.  Heck, mentioning the skin color of a cold blooded
killer to help identify them to police can get you branded as a
racist... unless they are lily white.  Then its ok, but not if they are
an albino...