Re: Help Wanted

["Tommy" <tommy at leesecurity dot net>]

ROFLMAO
--



Everywhere Man wrote:

>
> Robert L Bass wrote:
> >
> > I'm still looking for a sales rep to work for me though. <
>
> History has shown that you either can't count or you lie when numbers
> are involved so I respectfully withdraw my name from consideration due
> to fears you'd screw up every paycheck.
>
> Payday at BassHome:
>
> rep: ummm Robert my check was short this week. You said I earn 29%
> commission.
>
> Bass: no I said 28%
>
> rep: Actually I have a post where you said 29%
>
> Bass: That was clearly a typo. I meant to say 27%
>
> rep: But you just said 28%
>
> Bass: you've neglected to consider free shipping. It's 26%
>
> rep: What happened to 27%?
>
> Bass: You dolt I said back in 2002 I was in the trade for 27 years. I
> never said commission was 27% when it is 25%.
>
> rep: 25%? This just keeps getting lower and lower and lower
>
> Bass: Son when I first opened Basshome in 1978 I learned one thing.
> Always keep your numbers straight
>
> rep: but you said 29% in the post and then said you meant 28. How did
> we get to 25%?
>
> Bass: not since the day I opened shop back in 1979 has anyone ever
> questioned me
>
> rep: but you just said you opened in 1978
>
> Bass: I did
>
> rep: but then you said 1979
>
> Bass: 19.79 is the cost of our free shipping
>
> rep: but shouldn't free be free?
>
> Bass: only on orders over $125.00. that's when free shipping is only
> $22
>
> rep: Mr. Bass I am very confused right now. Can I just have my check so
> I can go home now?
>
> Bass: Check? What check?
>
> rep: my check for working here
>
> Bass: You don't work for me you work for bassburglaralarms. That's my
> brother's shop. He will pay you
>
> rep: but you hired me not your brother.
>
> Bass: Clearly you are mistaken. I was recouping in Puerto Bal Raydee
> Oh, Brazil from having any shred of truth surgically removed from my
> system.
>
> rep: so basically you lied to me?
>
> Bass: How dare you call me a liar! Your vitriol will no longer be
> tolerated. You are officially plonked.
>
> rep: What's a plonk?
>
> Bass: it's when I ignore you
>
> rep: so if I am plonked why did you answer me?
>
> Bass: only to prove to you that you are plonked
>
> rep: but you are still answering me
>
> Bass: get back to work or you're fired
>
> rep: but you're not my boss. Michael is my boss
>
> Bass: who is Michael?
>
> rep: your brother
>
> Bass: only a sadist would attack someones family like that
>
> rep: like what?
>
> Bass: you sir are no longer welcome here
>
> rep: am I plonked again?
>
> Bass: yes
>
> rep: then why do you keep answering me?
>
> Bass: because in the 25 yrs I have been in business I have never met
> anyone as insulting as you
>
> rep: 25 yrs? I thought you said 30 before?
>
> Bass: no, I said 29. In my 28yrs in the trade I have never been treated
> in such a manner
>
> rep: ummm I am going now
>
> Bass: You mean you aren't staying for burgers?
>
> rep: no I think you do a good enough job of being out to lunch all by
> yourself
>
> Bass: PLONK
>
> rep: what?
>
> Bass: You're plonked
>
> rep: again?
>
> Bass: yes
>
> rep: then why are you still answering me?
>
> Bass: Go ahead make my day

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