Re: New Fridge - setting up monitoring

["Robert Green" <robert_green1963@xxxxxxxxx>]

"Josepi" <JRM.@xxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:3XB6o.63640$0A5.40293@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
> "PLEASE STEP ONTO WEIGHT PLATFORM FOR FRIDGE DOOR RELEASE OPTIONS"

It will be MUCH worse than that if MS is involved:

"Mr. Toilet has detected high levels of glucose in your urine and not enough
roughage in your stool.  The only food you Mr. Refrigerator will allow you
to eat today is kelp. Please step away from the door.  Your kelp will be
placed in the automatic dispenser.  Enjoy your kelp and have a nice day!"

When it discovers you've been sneaking jelly dougnuts on the side, it would
go into the drill sergeant mode:

Fridge: Holy Jesus! What is that? What the f_ck is that? WHAT IS THAT?
Human:  Sir, a jelly doughnut, sir!
Fridge: A jelly doughnut? What is your major malfunction, numbnuts? Didn't
Mommy and Daddy show you enough attention when you were a child?
Human: Sir, yes, sir!
Fridge: How did it get here?
Human: Sir, I got it from the donut shop, sir!
Fridge: Are you allowed to eat jelly doughnuts?
Human: Sir, no, sir!
Fridge: And why not?
Human: Sir, because I'm too heavy, sir!
Fridge: Because you are a disgusting fat body! Were you born a fat, slimy,
scumbag puke piece o' shit, or did you have to work on it?
Human: Sir, yes, sir!
Fridge: Then why did you try to sneak a jelly doughnut by me?
Human: Sir, because I was hungry, sir!
Fridge: Because you were hungry... You had best square your ass away and
start shitting me Tiffany cufflinks or I will definitely f_ck you up! NOW!
MOVE IT! Or I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the
rest of the world! I will motivate you IF IT SHORT-DICKS EVERY CANNIBAL ON
THE CONGO! NOW DROP AND GIVE ME 20!

--
Bobby G.