Re: Monday Sucks

[JoeRaisin <joeraisin@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

motley me wrote:
>
>
> I am sorry for the thoughtless that she showed to you and the pain she
> inflicted, whether from tactlessness or ignorance. no matter the
> differences we may have, we are all here for you Joe.

I would file it more under ignorant than anything else.  In her mind she
was being comforting or something.  She just has no frame of reference yet.

Young, grew up wealthy, married wealthy, hasn't experienced the death of
a loved one, heck - still has all her grandparents.  Her biggest loss so
far was probably a pet of some sort - if that.

I don't let the things people say bother me, no matter how ludicrous I
think it is because I believe it is all meant in the best way.

I almost laughed once when I was talking to a local radio personality -
a very nice guy, we went to high school together.  I could tell he
really felt for me and was struggling for something to say, when, with
all the sympathy one could expect in such a moment he says, "Man! I
guess shit happens, huh?"  Lucky for him it wasn't on the air.  This is
a man who is a professional communicator and was so affected by our
story he was at a loss for words.  How could I get angry at such compassion?

I guess my point is that I have learned that life is 10% what happens to
me and 90% how I react to it.  I know that can be discounted as
'sloganeering' but I could write a dozen paragraphs on the subject and
not say it that clearly.

Of course no matter how I react to it, the death of my son in a way I
might have prevented, is going to suck.  But it is my choice whether to
endure that suckiness in my own private hell of anger and solitude, or
open myself up to the caring and compassionate gestures that come my way
from time to time, as well as to be there when I can to offer such
gestures to my other loved ones who, in their own ways, are suffering as
much, if not more than I.

Not that I don't have my angry times - they are going to come anyway, no
sense in volunteering for them.