Re: Monday Sucks

[G. Morgan <n@xxxxxxxxx>]

JoeRaisin wrote:

>Or maybe I'm just a whiny punk.

Nope.. Brought a tear to my eye.
Hang on man.  That writing was beautiful.

>
>I was having a good day yesterday - right up until the end.
>
>*****
>
>?All done, Ma?am.  I just need a signature.? I say placing the invoice
>on the counter and holding my pen out.  It made for a long day but the
>alarm is installed, up and running.  I?m tired, I just want to go home.
>
>?It looks great, thank you.? She says taking my pen. ?You?re name sounds
>familiar.?
>
>My brother was a teacher, so is my sister, I get this a lot.
>
>?Oh, I remember!  Are you related to that boy who was killed in the fire
>last year??
>
>Not was I was expecting.  Unfortunately, this was one of those times it
>hits me right in the gut.
>
>?Uhm, Yeah, he was my son.?
>
>Just sign the paper so I can go.
>
>?That was so sad.?
>
>Yes, it is.  Please, sign the paper.
>
>?I remember because my friend?s son was one of his students at? you
>know? that Karate place.?
>
>Tae-Kwon-Do, not Karate.
>
>I tell her the name of the Do-Jong.
>
>?Yes, that was it, she said he was such a nice boy.?
>
>I don?t why, but I don?t  want to have this discussion ? not here ? not now.
>
>?Yeah, he was a good kid.?
>
>?I heard there weren?t any smoke alarms in the house.?
>
>For Christ?s sake sign the PAPER!
>
>Easy, Joe, she?s trying to be nice.
>
>?No, I guess there weren?t.?
>
>Please let me go.
>
>?That?s pretty ironic considering what you do.?
>
>For the love of God, not that one again, a lump is forming in my throat.
>
>?It wasn?t my house, ma?am.?
>
>?Oh, right, it was his friend.  Now, didn?t his mother die the day
>before or something??
>
>Three weeks.
>
>?A few weeks, actually.  Her name was??
>
>She doesn?t let me tell her Becky?s name.  Too bad, I cared for Becky
>and miss her a lot, but she is a much safer topic.  However, this woman
>just wants to say her piece and interrupts with, ?Well its too bad
>things like that happen around the holidays.  At least you all had a
>better Christmas this year.?
>
>Oh yeah, it was just fucking great.
>
>?I really have to get going, ma?am, if you could just sign right here.?
>
>I put my pen at the beginning of the line, all she has to do is grab it
>and sign.
>
>I think I came off a bit brusque, she seems taken aback and I realize I
>probably could have handled this much more graciously.  Sometimes I get
>hit with it out of the blue and I?m okay, sometimes it still knocks the
>wind out of me ? this is one of those times.  I think it?s all the
>toddler stuff in this house.  It always makes me think of the grand kids
>I won?t have.  I have to get out of here.  I?m not a big follower of the
>John Wayne Book of Manhood, but I still don?t like to let strangers see
>me cry.
>
>?Its not something I like to talk about,? I tell her, ?and I?m am
>running late.?
>
>She seems assuaged, at least a little and signs the paper.  She thanks
>me, I thank her and I leave.
>
>By the time I hit my truck the tears are already running.  The drive
>home is blurry.  All I can think about are the old dreams I used to have
>of Chris coming for the Holidays with car seats and diaper bags, a
>couple little ones in tow who are excited to see Grandma and Grandpa
>because we spoil them rotten.  Tony would show up with his rug rats as
>well and we would all have a rousing good time watching the kids ?
>cousins who are as close as siblings ? playing and arguing.
>
>During these visions I picture Chris as the man he could have become ?
>would have become.  The man the world will never know ? much to the
>world?s detriment I am sure.
>
>By the time I pull into my driveway I am down most of a box of tissue
>and the Walmart bag hanging from the corner of my glove compartment is
>just about full.  I manage to compose myself before going inside.  I
>don?t feel much like eating ? I?m late for supper anyway.  I watch the
>state of the union address but I?m really not watching or even
>listening.  If one were to look closely it would be evident that I?m not
>focused on the screen, I?m not focused on anything.
>
>I become aware that Elena is not watching the television either, she is
>watching me ? she can tell.  She doesn?t say anything.
>
>Eventually it is bedtime.
>
>We lay in bed, nestled together, its how we end most days, just holding
>one another.
>
>?It was a bad one today.?  Is all I say.
>
>Elena?s embrace tightens a bit and she moves just a little bit closer to
>me.
>
>She still doesn?t say anything.
>
>She doesn?t ask me anything about it.
>
>She doesn?t have to.
>
>She has bad ones too.
--

-G