Re: A Canadian Invention

[Roger W <allucan8@xxxxxxx>]

On Feb 8, 6:01 pm, Roger W <alluc...@xxxxxxx> wrote:
> A long time and valued subscriber made an unusual request of me today.
> She asked if I could add a flatulence detector to her existing alarm
> system. It seems that her elderly husband who stays home while she
> works, gets bored and parties with a can of beans, broccoli or
> whatever he gets his hands on and forgets to open the windows before
> she gets home.
>
> I explained that a flatulence detector, if one existed, could only
> detect, annunciate and report but could not prevent an unpleasant
> odorous situation. She acknowledged the fact but said she wanted the
> central to call and alert her before she got home so she could
> remotely activate the central air unit.
>
> But that's not the point. While doing a search on fart detection I
> found out that my favorite toy, the Whoopie cushion, AKA Poo-Poo
> cushion, was invented in 1950 by employees of the Jem Rubber Co. of
> Toronto Canada. With this knowledge, I now have greater respect and
> admiration for our Canadian brothers and sisters.
>
> RW
Originally, my post was to honor our Canadian friends for their
(according to Wikipedia) invention of the "Whoopie Cushion". I found
this information quite by accident while searching for an appropriate
flatulence detector for a customer.

When I was a young boy my father gave me my first "Whoopie Cushion".
He said it would aid in helping me release my tensions and
hostilities. Curious to hear what it would sound like in a echo type
environment, that Saturday, I snuck it into the confessional booth
while waiting for the priest to arrive. Unbeknownst to me he had
already arrived and in the process of hearing a confession on the
other side of the booth. As soon as I ran my first test, the sliding
door suddenly opened up with Father Brown's angry face staring right
down at me. At that moment I thought I had soiled my pants. Father
Brown began to cautiously sniff the air and then began to hear my
confession.

After the usual: disobeyed my parents three times, told a lied two
times, had impure thoughts 180 times, I ran out of there as fast as I
could.

That Sunday at the nine o'clock children's Mass, I and a few of my
chums thought it would be risky but funny to blow a few while singing
the Hymns and under the cover of a loud organ playing. Unfortunately,
due to lousy timing I managed to cut one during a brief pause in the
music.

One of the meanest Nuns I have ever known managed to figure out where
this rude sound was coming from and zeroed in on me because I was the
only one trying to keep a straight face.
After dragging me out of the church and beating my ass with great
vigor, my only consolation was that I managed to save my "whoppie
cushion" in my shirt at the last second.

So I guess I can also thank my Canadian friends for that and all the
other ass whippings I caught when I was a kid in school because of
their fucking "Canadian Invention"