Re: A horse walks into a bar...

[Jim Davis <alarminex@xxxxxxx>]

On Saturday, September 18, 2021 at 7:04:43 PM UTC-4, Jim Davis wrote:
> On Saturday, September 18, 2021 at 5:14:37 PM UTC-4, Bob La Londe wrote:=
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> > On 9/15/2021 7:19 PM, Bob La Londe wrote:=20
> > > A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint. The barkeep says =E2=80=
=9Cyou=E2=80=99re=20
> > > in here pretty often. Think you might be an alcoholic?=E2=80=9D, to w=
hich the=20
> > > horse says =E2=80=9CI don=E2=80=99t think I am.=E2=80=9D, and vanishe=
s from existence.=20
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> > > See, the joke is about Descartes=E2=80=99 famous philosophy of =E2=80=
=98I think=20
> > > therefore, I am=E2=80=9D, but to explain that part before the rest of=
 the joke=20
> > > would be to put Descartes before the horse.=20
> > >=20
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> > I told this joke to my wife who is both smart and well educated. When I=
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> > told the first part she gave me a polite smile and token groan. She got=
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> > it instantly of course. When I told the second part the response wasn't=
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> > much better. In punance for subjecting her to such terrible word play I=
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> > paused for a moment and said, "37." She immediately burst out laughing=
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> > which just goes to show some jokes are funnier than others.=20
> > --=20
> > This email has been checked for viruses by AVG.=20
> > https://www.avg.com
> WOW!=20
> Thanks Bob, I haven't heard #37 in years !=20
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> For some reason though, #63 is the one that always got me laughing the mo=
st.=20
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> I didn't know you were partial to Punance. Give me a bit and I'll conjure=
 up some of the old ones I've got stored in my memory somewhere. I don't ge=
t much chance to recite them because - - - as you know - - - there aren't t=
oo many people who are intelligent enough to understand them.

Here you go - - - -=20

Three friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a smal=
l
florist shop to raise the funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from
the men of God, the rival florist across town thought the competition was
unfair.
He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back
and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. He asked his mother to go=
 and
ask the friars to get out of business. They ignored her too.

So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious
thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and
trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close shop. Terrifi=
ed, they
did so - thereby  proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist
friars.

And another.

A man went to his dentist because he feels something wrong in his mouth. Th=
e dentist examines him and says, "that new plates I put in for you six mont=
hs ago are eroding. What have you been eating?"
The man replies, "all I can think of is that about four months ago my wife =
made some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was delicious...Hollandai=
se sauce. I loved it so much I now put it on everything --- meat, toast, fi=
sh, vegetables, everything."
"Well," says the dentist, "that's probably the problem. Hollandaise sauce i=
s made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. It's eaten away=
 both of your plates. I'll make you some new plates, and this time I'll use=
 chrome."
"Why chrome?" asks the patient.
The dentist replies, "It's simple. Everyone knows that there's no plates li=
ke chrome for the
Hollandaise!"