OT: Murder at Safeway

[Frank Olson <use-the-email-links@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a
young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large
insurance policy on his wife, with himself as beneficiary, and then
arranging to have her killed.

A "friend of a friend" put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side
underworld figure who went by the name of "Artie".  Artie explained to
the husband that his going rate for "snuffing a spouse" was $5000.00.
The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't
have any cash on hand until he was able to collect on the insurance money.

Artie insisted on being paid at lest something up front, so the young
man opened his wallet displaying the single dollar bill that rested
there-in.  Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, and reluctantly agreed to
accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.

A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Safeway
store.  He surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to
strangle her with his gloved hands.  As the poor unsuspecting woman drew
her last breath and slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce
departmnent stumbled unexpectledly onto the murder scene.  Unwilling to
leave any living witnesses behind, Artie had no choice but to do the
produce manager in as well.

Unbeknownst to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the
store's video surveillance system and observed by loss prevention
officers who immediately called the Police.  Artie was caught and
arrested before he even left the store.

Under intense interrogation, Artie confessed to the whole sordid plan,
including the unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband
(who was also quickly arrested).  The next day the newspaper ran with
the following headline:














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"ARTIE CHOKES 2 FOR $1.00 AT SAFEWAY!"