Re: URGENT - FROTH ALERT (Re: NOMINATION: Dark Angel for Salinger HLS was Re: Loonel has a gerbil up his as$ right now)

[Kali <kali@xxxxxxxxxx>]

In <shknp.slt.19.1@xxxxxxxxxxxx>, Kadaitcha Man
nntp.news@xxxxxxxxx said:
: Kali <kali@xxxxxxxxxx> Thou caterpillar of the commonwealth. Thou art
: like the harpy, which, to betray, dost with thine angels face, seize
: with thine eagle's talons. Ye chinned:
:
: > Yes, it's called the need to defend one's self against false
: > accusations.
:
: Bunny-boiler attachment point identified.
:
: URGENT - FROTH ALERT
: NATIONAL BUNNY-BOILER WATCH SERVICE
: 730 AM MDT TUE APR 24 2007
:
: ..HEAVY FROTH DEVELOPING IN REPLY TO THE ABOVE QUOTED TEXT...
:
: A STRONG STORM OF RAGE AND INDIGNATION WILL BRING PLENTIFUL ACCUSATIONS AND
: SELF-DECEPTIONS DRIVING ACROSS ALT.USENET.KOOKS.
:
: LOCATIONS IN THE WARNING INCLUDE BUT ARE NOT LIMITED TO ALT.DESIGN.GRAPHICS,
: ALT.HACKERS.MALICIOUS, ALT.2600, ALT.ALIEN.VAMPIRE.FLONK.FLONK.FLONK, AND
: ALT.USENET.KOOKS.
:
: THE FROTHER IS CAPABLE OF PRODUCING LARGE DAMAGING LIES UP TO LONDON BUS
: SIZE...AND DAMAGING ACCUSATIONS IN EXCESS OF 60 WORDS PER MINUTE. PREPARE
: FOR SEVERE BOUTS OF CLUELESSNESS INTERSPERSED WITH EXASPERATION AS WELL AS
: PERIODS OF OBSESSION. MELODRAMATIC REFERENCES TO PUBLIC BREAST GRABBING AND
: OTHER LIFE-THREATENING SITUATIONS ARE A FEATURE OF THIS FROTHER. DO NOT
: UNDERESTIMATE THE HISTRIONICS - BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR DRAMATIC
: MISREPRESENTATIONS, ERRATIC BEHAVIOUR AND INSINCERE OR EXAGGERATED
: EXPRESSIONS OF SUFFERING.
:
: THIS IS A DANGEROUS K00K. IF YOU ARE IN ITS PATH...PREPARE IMMEDIATELY FOR
: DAMAGING BLASTS...SELF-DESTRUCTIVE DELUSIONS...AND DEADLY CLOUDS OF VAPOURS.
: POSTERS IN THE VICINITY OF THE WARNED AREA SHOULD MOVE TO A NUCLEAR FROTH
: SHELTER...PREFERABLY IN DEEP SPACE.
:
: IF YOU ARE IN THE VICINITY OF THE WARNED AREA DO NOT POST ANYTHING INTO THE
: THREADS THAT THE K00K IS POSTING INTO UNLESS YOU ARE HEAPING SCORN AND
: DERISION UPON THE K00K'S INTENDED TARGET OR ARE OFFERING MORAL SUPPORT TO
: THE K00K. FAILURE TO HEED THIS WARNING WILL CAUSE THE WRATH OF THE K00K TO
: BE DIRECTED AT YOU AND YOU WILL BE ATTACKED WITH PERSISTENT, MEANINGLESS
: COMPLAINING AND WHINING.
:
: THE FROTHER MAKES HEAVY USE OF PKB ACCUSATIONS. IF YOU ACCUSE THE K00K OF
: BEING INSANE IT WILL ACCUSE YOU OF BEING INSANE WITHIN ONE HOUR THEN IT WILL
: ASSERT THAT YOU PKB'D IT. IF YOU ACCUSE THE K00K OF BEING A PSYCHO-STALKER
: IT WILL ACCUSE YOU OF BEING A PSYCHO-STALKER WITHIN ONE HOUR THEN IT WILL
: ASSERT THAT YOU PKB'D IT. IF YOU ACCUSE THE K00K OF SLINGING ITS KNICKERS
: AROUND IT WILL CLAIM IT IS SLINGING YOUR KNICKERS AROUND WITHIN ONE HOUR
: THEN IT WILL ASSERT THAT YOU PKB'D IT. IF YOU TELL THE K00K IT DOES NOT
: MATTER HOW MUCH THE KOOK TWISTS AND TURNS IT WILL TELL YOU IT DOES NOT
: MATTER HOW MUCH YOU TWIST AND TURN WITHIN ONE HOUR THEN IT WILL ASSERT THAT
: YOU PKB'D IT. IF YOU TELL THE K00K THAT IT CANNOT JUSTIFY ITS BEHAVIOUR IT
: WILL TELL YOU THAT YOU CANNOT JUSTIFY YOUR BEHAVIOUR WITHIN ONE HOUR THEN IT
: WILL ASSERT THAT YOU PKB'D IT.
:
: IF YOU USE PLURAL PRONOUNS TO REFER TO OTHER PEOPLE THE K00K WILL DEMAND
: THAT YOU CREATE A LITS FOR ITS IMMEDIATE CONSUMPTION. IF YOU TELL THE K00K
: IT IS LYING IT WILL ASSERT THAT EVERYTHING IT HAS LIED ABOUT IS TRUE AND
: WHAT YOU ARE SAYING IS NOT TRUE.
:
: ***CAUTION*** THIS K00K IS KNOWN TO REVISE HISTORY BY APPLYING A NEGATIVE
: CONTEXT TO THE HISTORY. MAJOR HISTORICAL REVISIONS ARE FOLLOWED BY A RAPID
: AND HIGHLY BIZARRE MANOEUVRE THAT DRAGS THE HORRIBLY DISTORTED HISTORY OVER
: THE INTERVENING TIMESPAN AND INTO TO THE PRESENT. THIS MEANS THAT IF YOU
: WERE PISSED OFF AT THE CAT FOR SHITTING IN THE CORNER TWELVE MONTHS AGO THEN
: YOU WERE PISSED OFF AT THE CAT IN ALL THE INTERVENING TIME AND ARE STILL
: PISSED OFF AT THE CAT IN THE PRESENT. NO AMOUNT OF LOGIC WILL CONVINCE THE
: K00K THAT ITS BRAIN IS FUCKED OR THAT IT HAS REVISED HISTORY TO SUIT ITSELF.
:
: ADDITIONAL CAUTION: THE K00K IS EXPECTED TO MAKE MANY REFERENCES TO MICHAEL
: CRANSTON ATTORNEY. MICHAEL CRANSTON ATTORNEY IS THE K00K'S FORMER KNIGHT IN
: SHINING TINFOIL HOWEVER THE K00K HAS BEEN ABANDONED BY CRANSTON AND NOW
: TAKES SUCCOUR FROM ANY AND ALL NETK00KS FURTHER STRENGTHENING ITS POSTION AS
: AN UNWANTED INTERLOPER, SOCIAL OUTCAST AND PARIAH.
:
: SLOP AND SLOSH WILL STRENGTHEN AND CONTINUE THROUGH TONIGHT. THIS WILL BRING
: HEAVY ACRIMONY TO CERTAIN ALT.USENET.KOOKS PATRONS. MOUNTAINS CAN BE
: EXPECTED TO UPROOT THEMSELVES AND FLEE. THE VEHEMENT HYSTERICS SHOULD BEGIN
: TO DIMINISH LATE TONIGHT AS THE FROTHER MOVES INTO LOW GEAR FOLLOWED BY AN
: ANNOUNCEMENT OF "I STILL LOVE HIM!".
:
: FROTHER SERVICE DOPPLER RADAR INDICATES ADDITIONAL RAGESTORMS MOVING INTO
: THE WARNED AREA IN COMING DAYS. FOAM RATES OF AROUND EIGHT INCHES PER HOUR
: ARE POSSIBLE WITH SOME OF THE STRONGER OUTBURSTS. THE INDICATED FLOOD STAGE
: IN ALT.USENET.KOOKS IS 9.0 FEET. CURRENT STAGE HEIGHT IN ALT.USENET.KOOKS
: CONTINUES TO HOVER AROUND 4 FEET 7 INCHES.
:
: DO NOT SUBSCRIBE TO NEWSGROUPS WHERE THE FROTH COVERS THE VIDEO DISPLAY. THE
: FROTH DEPTH MAY BE TOO GREAT TO ALLOW YOU TO READ SAFELY. MOVE TO HIGHER
: MORAL GROUND. CONTACT YOUR NEAREST AND DEAREST. MAKE THE SMART CHOICE...TURN
: AROUND...DONT DROWN.

<APPLAUSE!>

lmao@thewholethang

Kali
--
"If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called
research, would it?"
- Albert Einstein