A Fat Ass Bass sales call

["Group-Moderator" <Group-Moderator@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

A Fat Ass Bass sales call

Subject: Re: Alarm Industry Union
From: alarminex@xxxxxxxxxxx  (Alarminex)
Date: 2/6/2004 11:54 PM Eastern Standard Time
Message-id: <20040206235445.25517.00004132@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>

A Fat Ass Bass sales call:

Ding Dong.  ( no no, that's not any reference to Fat Ass. That's just the
door
bell)

Hello, I'm Fat Ass Bass, here in my new suit made by Armani ..... the tent
maker  to sell you an alarm system

Why hello Fat Ass, why don't you come in?

Why thank you .............  (standing sideways, trying to squeeze through
the
door way.

Why thank you ............. ( standing sideways the *other way* trying to
squeeze through the doorway.

Hmmmm ..... do you have a sliding glass door at the back of the house that's
wider than this door?

No, actually it's just as wide as this one.

Well .....mmmm   do you think you could step aside while I get a running
start?


Wait a minute ...... HONEY! ..... do we have any Crisco in the pantry?

Oh no ..... I wouldn't want to get any on my Armani ....ten.... er .....
suit.
Maybe we could do this on your front porch.........

Ok now, I think you should protect every door and window in your home with
motion detectors in every room backed up with glass break detectors and oh
yeah, when I say protect every window, I don't mean that you have to protect
the tops of double hung windows, because nobody ever comes in that way
anyway
so that'll be $3500.00. OK?  Now you have to buy this from me because I'm a
better salesman that everybody else and I know more about alarms that
everybody
else and I can install alarms better than everybody else and I know how to
keep
talking for ever and ever until you finally forget why you called me in the
first place and I use only the best equipment which is better than everybody
else and I'm smarter than everybody else and I've been in business better
than
everybody else and I'm better at being better than everybody else
...............ka yakat yakata yakata.

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT.......... I'LL BUY THE DAMN THING JUST GET OFF MY PORCH,
IT'S
BEGINING TO LEAN........... ALREADY!

Ok, I'll send my monkys over to install your system in a few days.
>
>
Jim

(Email accepted only upon request.)









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