Re: The _________ Is Beeping

[ABLE1 <somewhere@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

On 4/11/2021 7:08 PM, Bob La Londe wrote:
> On 4/11/2021 2:41 PM, ABLE1 wrote:
>> On 4/11/2021 2:03 PM, Bob La Londe wrote:
>>> I have had customers tell me the ___________ is beeping in the middle
>>> of the night for no good reason.
>>>
>>> a) Keypad
>>> b) Window Contact
>>> c) Motion Sensor
>>> d) ____________ (other)
>>> e) All of the above
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>
>>
>> LOL
>>
>> So Bob, I know I shouldn't ask, but is this a trick question??
>>
>> OR
>>
>> Just a quiz, for the feeble minded??
>>
>> Lets go for a)
>>
>> No No No!! d) __Your_Keypad__Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  Final Answer!!
>>
>>
>> Les
>
>
>
>
> I've had more than a few customers tell me my keypad was beeping.
>
>
>
> RING! RING!
>
> Them:Â  Your stupid keypad is beeping.
>
> Me:Â  Wow, have can you tell?
>
> Them:Â  Because its infernally loud and annoying?
>
> Me:  I'm impressed.  Your hearing is amazing.
>
> Them:Â  SO WHY IS IT BEEPING???
>
> Me:  Hold on let me go look....   It says low battery.
>
> Them:Â  So what are you going to do about it?
>
> Me:Â  I'm going to go upstairs to the communications room and change the
> battery.
>
> Them:Â  We don't have an upstairs.
>
> Me:  Ok.  I do and that's where my control panel is.
>
> Them:Â  WHAT???!!!???!!!
>
> Me:Â  Oh, is your keypad beeping?
>
> Them:  YES!  THAT'S WHAT I TOLD YOU!
>
> Me:  No you told me my keypad was beeping.  I was impressed that you
> could hear it from your house.
>
> Them:Â  Are some kind of dumb ass?
>
> Me:  No not at all.  I am a smart ass.
>
> Them:Â  So what are you going to do about it.
>
> Me:  I'm going to go upstairs and change my alarm backup battery.  I
> already told you that.
>
> Them:Â  I MEAN ABOUT MY KEYPAD BEEPING YOU MOTHER ____ING TWIT!
>
> Me:Â  Just a moment... Oh, I see you cancelled service two years ago with
> a past due balance.  I do not perform service for accounts with a past
> due balance.
>
> Them:Â  WHAT THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT IT?
>
> Me:Â  Well, you could sell your house.
>
> Them:Â  ARE YOU STUPID?
>
> Me:  No not at all.  The new owner wouldn't have a past due balance.  I
> would not have an issue performing a service call for them.
>
> Them:Â  Can you tell me how to shut the darn thing up.
>
> Me:Â  You want me to tell somebody over the phone how to disable an alarm
> system?  What if you are a burglar calling from your house?  No I
> couldn't perform that service for you even if you didn't have a past due
> balance.
>
> Them:Â  WELL I'M GOING TO RIP YOUR KEYPAD OFF THE WALL!
>
> Me:  I do hope you mean your keypad.  You can do what you like to your
> property as far as I am concerned.  If you rip my keypad off the wall
> I'll file a criminal damage complaint against you.
>
> Them:Â  YOUR AN ASSHOLE!
>
> Me:Â  I can just hear you misspelled that.
>
> Them:  WHAT?!?!  WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO?
>
> Me:Â  Well a minute ago you threatened to tear my keypad off the wall,
> but I really think you meant you were going to tear your keypad off the
> wall.  That's my best guess as to your plans anyway.
>
> Them:Â  How can I get this fixed?
>
> Me:Â  If you want me to fix it mail me a check for $xxx.xx to cover your
> past due balance.
>
> Them:Â  Then will you come fix it.
>
> Me:Â  After I receive a deposit to cover the cost of the service call
> since you have a history of not paying your bill sure.
>
> Them:Â  Well how much is that?
>
> Me:Â  $xxx.xx
>
> Them:Â  Forget it!
>
> Me:  Ok,  <CLICK>
>
> RING! RING!
>
> Them:Â  YOU HUNG UP ON ME YOU JERK!
>
> Me:Â  Who is this?
>
> Them:Â  This the person who was just complaining that your keypad is
> beeping and driving me crazy.
>
> Me:  Just a second.  Oh yeah.  You told me to forget it so I figured the
> best way to do that was to stop talking about it.
>
> Them:Â  So are you going to fix it or not.
>
> Me:  I already did.  My keypad isn't beeping any longer.
>
> Them:Â  What is wrong with you?
>
> Me:  Nothing I am aware?  Why?  What have you heard?  Did my doctor
> violate my HIPA rights and tell you something?
>
> Them:Â  Your keypad is driving me crazy?
>
> Me:  I don't understand.  I'm sitting right next to it and its not
> making a sound.  I told you when you called before I was going to go
> upstairs and change the battery.
>
> Them:Â  NO!!! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT MY KEYPAD?!?
>
> Me:Â  Nothing I don't service past due accounts.
>
> Them:Â  Can I pay the bill?
>
> Me:  Sure.  You are always welcome to pay your bills.  In fact society
> encourages one to pay their debts.
>
> Them:Â  Then will you come fix my keypad?
>
> Me:Â  Oh, is your keypad broken?
>
> Them:Â  I TOLD YOU ITS BEEPING.
>
> Me:Â  I'm not sure you ever actually stated that your keypad was beeping,
> but that's not an indication that its broken.  Its probably functioning
> exactly how its supposed to and telling you there is a problem with your
> alarm system.
>
> Them:Â  Are you trying to be smart?
>
> Me:  No.  I am already relatively smart.  I'm trying to be patient.
>
> Them:Â  So are you going to fix my alarm or not?
>
> Me:Â  I do not perform service for past due accounts.
>
> Them:Â  So what the hell am I supposed to do?
>
> Me:Â  Well if you have changed your mind about your previous plan of
> action might I suggest you reconsider mine?
>
> Them:Â  What?
>
> Me:Â  Sell your house.
>
> Them:  Screw You Asshole!  <CLICK!)
>
>
> RING! RING!
>
> Them:Â  Hey I just bought this house that has your alarm decals on it,
> and there is a giant hole in the wall with a keypad stuffed into.  Could
> I pay you to come out and fix it?
>
> Me:  Sure.  I can be over there in the morning.  I do not paint match,
> but I can suggest a guy.
>
> Them:  That would be great.  See you tomorrow.
>
>
> ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
>
> Some all or none of these things may or may not have been said, done, or
> have happened.
>
>
>
>

Bob,

That is Priceless.
Thanks for the giggles and smiles!!

Les