OT: How to start a fight

[Frank Kurz <tech@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a
Christmas gift.  The next year, I didn't buy her anything.
When she asked me "why?", I replied "Well, you still haven't used the
gift I bought you last year!"
And then the fight started.


My wife and I were watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire".  I turned
to her and asked, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she replied.
"Is that your final answer?" I asked.
She didn't even look at me, simply saying, "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And then the fight started.


We were in London (England) and I took my wife to a fancy restaurant.
For some reason, the waiter took my order first.
"I'll have the steak, rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah", I responded.  "She can order for herself.
And then the fight started.


My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping through the channels one
night.
"What's on TV?", she asked.
"Dust." I replied.
And then the fight started.


My wife started hinting that she wanted something really special for our
upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3
seconds."
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started.


When our lawn mower broke my wife started hinting to me that I should
get it fixed, but somehow I always found something better to take care
of first:  The shed, the boat, making beer...  Always something "more
important".
Finally, she thought of a clever way to make her point.  I arrived home
one afternoon to find her seated in the tall grass busily snipping away
with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.  I watched her progress for a few
minutes and then went into the house.  I was only gone about a minute.
When I came back out, I handed her a toothbrush and told her: "When you
finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

--
Frank Kurz
www.firetechs.net