Brink's panel barge departing Tampa?

["Roland Moore" <nospam@xxxxxxxxxx>]

Jim,
I am trying to get a tide and current map for the Tampa to Galveston run. I
think if you bolt enough empty Brinks panel cans together (I haven't figured
out how many just yet) and fill them with something like Great Stuff (tm)
foam http://greatstuff.dow.com/greatstuff/pro/index.htm you'll have a barge
that you may make it to Galveston in. Hopefully in time to take I-45 to
Dallas to make it before the 26th. Find enough old Brinks yard signs to
stick on the cans and you can use them all for little sails.
If time gets tight you can stop off at NASA in Houston, a little up the road
from Galveston just off I-45. Ask one of the female astronauts for a spare
adult diaper or two. Convince her a cheating boyfriend is in Dallas and
you'll get there with her in no time I bet. Tell her to drop you off at the
church parking lot for the homeless and you'll be ready for your court date,
having done it with a minimum of expense. When in court don't forget to tell
Brinks that you brought their panels back to Texas for them, but ask the
judge to make sure Brinks pay the mooring fees for the Brinks barge.
Hopefully all the thieving alarm dealers in Texas won't have descended on
the barge and stripped in to the bone, like the fish in Hemingway's 'Old Man
and the Sea'.