Da Night Before Crismas

[Jim <alarminex@xxxxxxx>]

Da Nite Before Chrismas (in Brooklyn)

'Twas the night before Chrismas,
Da whole house was mella,
Not a creature was strirrin',
My gun unda my pilla.

When up on da roof,
I heard sumptin pound,
I sprung to da winda
to scream, "YO! Keep it down!"

When what to my
Wanderin' eyes should appear,
But da Don of all elfs,
And eight friggin' reindeer!

Wit' slicked back hair,
And a silk red suit,
Don Kringle wuz here,
and he brought all da loot!

Wit' a slap to dare snouts
And a yank on dare manes,
He cursed and he shouted
And he called dem by name

"Yo Tony, Yo Frankie,
Yo Vinny, Yo Vito,
Ayy Joey, Ayy Paulie,
Ayy Pepe, Ayy Guido!"

As I drew out my gun
and hid by da bed,
He flew troo da winda,
slapped me upside da head.

"What da hell you dooin'
Pullin'a piece on the Don?
Now all you're gettin' is coal,
You friggin moron!"

Den pointin' his finga
Right unda my nose,
He twised his pinky ring,
an up da chimney he rose.

He sprang to his sleigh,
Obscenities screamin',
Away dey all flew,
As he troo dem a beatin'.

Den I hoid him yell out,
what I did least expect,
"merry Friggin' Christmas to all,
An next time,
Show some respect!"