OT: Leviticus vs Gay

["Robert L Bass" <noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

OK, this has to be about at OT as it gets.

I was reading an interesting book about Christianity today.
The book, "What Jesus Meant," by Gary Wills, is kind of a
devotional for the Mensa set. He challenges a lot of the
current Christian message, especially those who use small
passages from scripture to pervert the Christian faith, much
as the crazies do to pervert the message of the Islam.

Anyway, here's the quote I found so true and so funny I want
to share it. Sorry if it gives some an excuse to flame.
It's nothing new apparently, because Snopes.com has
discussed it at length. Wills did not pretend to be the
author of the passage. He even asked if anyone knows the
true author.

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Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding
God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I
try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can.
When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for
example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly
states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of
the specific laws and how to best follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it
creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem
is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to
them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as
sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you
think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while
she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev
15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried
asking, but most women take offense.

d) Lev 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both
male and female, provided they are purchased from
neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this
applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why
can't I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath.
Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I
morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish
is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination
than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God
if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear
reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is
there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including
the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly
forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead
pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I
wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting
two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by
wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread
(cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and
blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all
the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone
them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at
a private family affair like we do with people who sleep
with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am
confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal
and unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.


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Uh, end of quote.   :^)

Regards,
Robert L Bass

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