Re: OT: Jesus

[Jim <alarminex@xxxxxxx>]

On Oct 31, 5:45=EF=BF=BDpm, Frank Olson
<use_the_email_li...@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little
> confused aobut Jesus, so he asks his class, "Where is Jesus today?"
>
> Steven raises his hand and replies, "He's in Heaven."
>
> Mary answers, "He's in my heart."
>
> Little Johnny frantically waves his hand and blurts out, "He's in our
> bathroom!"
>
> The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this.
>
> "Well," Little Johnny replies, "every morning, my father gets up, bangs
> on the bathroom door and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?'!"


New teacher starts off the year by introducing herself to the class.

Hello class, My name is Miss Prussy. Thats Prussy ..... with an R. And
occasionally through the day she repeats the name learning process
just to make sure they all remember

"That's     Mrs Prussy ..... with an R"

The class proceeds and the teacher finds out that little Johnny
doesn't pay much attention to whats going on, so at the end of the day
she asks him .... Johnny?  Do you remember what my name is?  Johnny
thinks and thinks, his mind is racing and searching for the answer and
then he remembers "With an R!"  " With an R!"

Finallly he shouts out ...Yes! Yes, I've got it! It's Mrs Crunt.

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Dirty Little Matt is sitting in the back of math class, obviously not
paying any attention, when the teacher calls his name.
"Yeah teach?" he replies.
"If there are three ducks on a fence and you shoot one of them with a
shotgun, how many are left?" asks the teacher.
Matt answers "Well, teach, if I shoot one of them with a shotgun,
there's not going to be any left because the loud noise is gonna make
them all fly off."
"No, Matt, there will be two left if you shoot one with a shotgun, but
I like the way you're thinking." the teacher responds.
"Well, teach, I've got a question for you... There are 3 women that
come out of an ice-cream parlor, one is biting her ice-cream cone, one
is licking it, and one is sucking on it. Which one is married?"
The teacher, a little taken back by the question answers, "Well, uh,
gee Matt, I really don't know."
Matt says " Well why don't you just give it a guess then"?

"Teachers says "Well OK then, I guess the one that's sucking on the
ice cream."
Matt replies "No teach, the one that has the wedding ring on her
finger, but I like the way you're thinking!"