Re: Supporting the Troops

[David 01 <ifiwantspam@xxxxxxxxxx>]

On Wed, 16 Jan 2008 03:00:18 +0000, Robert L Bass wrote:

On Wed, 16 Jan 2008 03:00:18 +0000, Robert L Bass wrote:

> CRAWFORD, TX-President Bush concluded his summer vacation by holding an
> informal press conference Monday to address grieving mother Cindy
> Sheehan, saying "her damn dead son ruined my whole summer vacation."
>
> Bush addressed Mrs. Sheehan, who was not present, by saying "a mother
> should not have to bury her son this way, by which I mean allowing her
> son's death to destroy his commander-in-chief's one chance to relax and
> unwind."
>
> BIG SNIP

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> EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:RobertLBass@xxxxxxxxxxx REV:20080116T030010Z
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I'm not really a Bush fan and I didn't vote for Bush but why didn't you
add this foolish ditty from the same source (the Onion)? It's as valid as
the one you posted, i.e., not at all.

WASHINGTON, DCâ??Following a recent ruling by a U.S. District Court that
blocked the sale of 1.7 million acres of federally protected caribou,
President Bush urged Congress Tuesday to pass an appropriations bill that
would enable expanded drilling of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge's
animals.

"There are over 100 billion tons of untapped, domestic wildlife lying
beneath, on, and above the surface of Alaska's North Slope region," said
Bush during a White House press conference. "We have an obligation not
only to our society, but to future generations, to begin drilling these
polar bears, grizzlies, harbor porpoises, Roosevelt elks, sea otters,
muskrats, and snowshoe hares immediately."

According to Secretary Of The Interior Dirk Kempthorne, who recently
toured the Lake Teshekpuk area with a team of bio-mineralogists, one in
four animals drilled in early tests have shown positive yield.

"We can achieve our goal without disturbing the delicate balance of the
ecosystem," said Kempthorne, looking on as rig operators took exploratory
core samples of 20 bearded seals in order to gauge the mammals' interior
density. "But if the government opens up the nearly 200 species of birds,
fish, and marine and land mammals to public drilling, the U.S. would be
capable of churning out over 9.3 billion barrels of wildlife each yearâ??
more than three times the amount we currently drill."

Wildlife prospectors in other parts of Alaska applaud Bush's position,
saying that, if funding is increased, drillers will be able to tap larger,
higher-yield animals such as grizzly bears and musk oxen.

"The technology is there, but there's little economic incentive to drill
anything larger than timber wolves," said Cal Fowler, an independent
prospector and former wildcat driller. "With more federal money we can
invest in necessary hardware, such as more durable annular diamond-
impregnated drill bits, which can bore two-inch diameter holes deep
through a solid bull-walrus midsection in seconds."

Drill foremen have already begun digging shallow exploratory holes through
the surface flesh of over 5 million animals to provide workspace for the
drillers and their equipment. Once this step is complete, an electrical
generator powered by a large diesel engine will plunge rotating
carbide-steel-tipped drill bits through the animal, boring through the
skin, bone, or blubber at speeds of up to 6,500 rpm. The drillers will
then guide the direction of the borehole using top-drive rotary steerable
wellbores, which allow them to drill through targeted areas in the
wildlife with incredible precision. Enlarge Image Bush Increases Jump R

Workers near Alaska's Lake Teshekpuk take a core sample from a grizzly
bear cub.

Walking through a field of steadily pumping Canada lynx, Fowler defended
wildlife drilling as "one of the most environmentally responsible methods
of drilling," saying that it is a renewable resource, and the ecologically
sensitive wildlife refuge is almost completely unaffected since
pre-existing environmental laws ensure that the drilling of individual
animals will not damage the environment.

Energy giant ExxonMobil has already begun to widen its wildlife-drilling
efforts in response to the Bush Administration's stance.

"We have set up an offshore production platform capable of efficiently
extracting over 15,000 Arctic grayling fish from the Beaufort Sea each
day, and then drilling them," ExxonMobil Chief Engineer For Wildlife
Drilling Operations Frank Salinas said. "And advances in horizontal
directional drilling may soon allow us to simultaneously drill through two
arctic foxes three miles apart."

"It's an exciting time to be in the wildlife-drilling field," Salinas
added.

Bush's call for more wildlife drilling has come under fire by alternate
wildlife-use advocates, who call his policy shortsighted.

"The administration should be encouraging research into viable new
technologies," said Sylvia Hermann, chairman of Advocates For Cleaner-
Burning Fauna. "The energy produced by solar generators could be used to
incinerate vast herds of moose, even in the coldest winter months. Wind-
produced electricity could electrocute Beluga whales in their own
habitats, with no need for offshore drilling, and hydroelectric dams could
be used to drown grizzly bears. Perhaps one day geothermic heat could be
harnessed to broil entire wildlife-rich regions alive."

Continued Hermann, "It's vital that we preserve the arctic wildlife so
that our children, and our children's children, will still have animals to
drill when they grow up."

The Bush administration is also proposing the creation of a Strategic
Wildlife Preserve, a series of 15-million-cubic-meter above-ground tanks
that would store an emergency supply of over 700 million tightly packed
animals.