Re: disconnect letters

["Crash Gordon" <webmaster@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

That's more like it!!!

I actually did something like that to a scumsuckerratbastid customer abt 15
years ago. I made all his doors sound the siren for 1minute for every
trip...siren in attic and inside house. Pretty mean I guess...but he asked
for it.


"Robert L Bass" <no-sales-spam@bassburglaralarms> wrote in message
news:9rSdnem4SKvklFnYnZ2dnUVZ_t6qnZ2d@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
|> Hey...anyone have any creative Collect
| > or Disconnect letters? I got a couple
| > of deadbeats I wanna blast.
| > This could be a fun thread too :-)
|
| Dear [deadbeat name]:
|
| You account is now in arrears in the amount of $[#,###.##].  You have not
responded to the previous [###] invoices, statements and
| requests for payment which we sent to you over the past [##] months.  We
are certain that this is nothing but an honest oversight on
| your part.  Perhaps you simply forgot to open the last three certified
letters.  Busy as you are avoiding paying all your other
| bills this is perfectly understandable.
|
| Please be informed that in accordance with paragraph 2,459b -- sub part
AL25 of your contract, your account with [company] is now
| terminated.  Your alarm system has been reprogrammed so that the front
door will activate the fire alarm sounder whenever opened,
| day or night.  All motion detectors have been programmed to turn the
furnace off for three hours whenever motion is sensed during
| winter months.  Window sensors have been programmed to activate your lawn
sprinklers.  Central monitoring has been discontinued.
| However, your alarm will now dial a 900 number in China once per hour
until further notice.
|
| In order to give you one last opportunity to make good on your contract,
the above changes have been placed on delayed activation
| for 24 hours.  Should you wish to revert to normal system operation,
please drop by our office with an envelop containing the full
| amount owed in cash plus a $125 service fee to cover the cost of
reprogramming your alarm.
|
| As always, it is our pleasure to serve and protect you and your family.
Thank you for your kind attention to this matter.
|
| Sincerely,
| [you]
|
|