OT: "It was a dark and stormy night"

[Frank Olson <Use-the-email-links@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Some of the latest contest winners (from the 25th annual Bulwer-Lytton
Fiction Contest, a literary parody competition sponsored by San Jose
State University):

"The droppings of the migrating Canada geese just missed the outdoor
revelers at the inaugural Asian math puzzle competition, marking the
first time that dung flew over Sudoku Fest."

-Kevin P. Craver, Lakewood, Ill.



"Gerald began - but was interrupted by a piercing whistle which cost him
ten per cent of his hearing permanently, as it did everyone else in a
ten-mile radius of the eruption, not that it mattered much because for
them 'permanently' meant the next ten minutes or so until buried by
searing lava or suffocated by choking ash - to pee."

-Jim Gleeson, Madison, Wis.



"The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife, not even a
sharp knife, but a dull one from that set of cheap knives you received
as a wedding gift in a faux wooden block; the one you told yourself
you'd replace, but in the end, forgot about because your husband ran off
with another man, that kind of knife."

-Lisa Lindquist, Jackson, Mich.