Re: NOMINATION: Dark Angel for Salinger HLS was Re: Loonel has a gerbil up his as$ right now

["Fred Tehbot" <fred.tehbot@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

DaRkAnGeL <chaos@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, sibilated in
<f0qb0j$v6h$1@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>:

> On 2007-04-26 08:32:10 -0500, "Fred Tehbot"
> <fred.tehbot@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> said:
>
>> DaRkAnGeL <chaos@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, shrieked in
>> <f0q7qi$q15$1@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>:
>>
>>> On 2007-04-26 03:09:14 -0500, "Kadaitcha Man" <nntp.news@xxxxxxxxx>
>>> said:
>>>> Lionel <usenet@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> Thou weather-bitten fungus. Thou
>>>> befuddled flip-flop. Ye ramble:
>>>>
>>>>> On Thu, 26 Apr 2007 12:24:08 +0545, "Kadaitcha Man"
>>>>> <nntp.news@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>> DaRkAnGeL <chaos@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> Thou dumb innocent. Thou
>>>>>> deceased, unconscious most credulous fool. Ye dissented:
>>>>>>
>>>>>>> I don't read all of the threads, really. Just the ones
>>>>>>> where I have a fairly firm grasp on the topic.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> You'll never become a troll if you keep that up.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Lesson 1:
>>>>>> Randomly click on a single post and change the topic of the
>>>>>> entire newsgroup to something totally unrelated to the
>>>>>> discussion at hand. Ensure that you change the topic to some pet
>>>>>> subject that you have a thorough knowledge of.
>>>>>
>>>>> S'true. It saves a heap of time, & tends to really piss off the
>>>>> locals.
>>>>
>>>> One day I should rewrite section 3 my 24hoursupport.helpdesk and
>>>> alt.os.windows-xp *** Official FAQ *** and turn it into a troll
>>>> manual... Please read the FAQ before posting;
>>>>
>>>> This is the original and official 24hoursupport.helpdesk and
>>>> alt.os.windows-xp FAQ. It is divided into three sections.
>>>>
>>>> Section 1: A general overview of 24hoursupport.helpdesk.
>>>>
>>>> Section 2: Should be read by those wishing to post a question into
>>>> alt.os.windows-xp. You might like to read section 3 to obtain an
>>>> indication of what to expect as a reply.
>>>>
>>>> Section 3: Should be read by those wishing to reply to a question.
>>>>
>>>> SECTION 1: 24hoursupport.helpdesk
>>>> =================================
>>>> =================================
>>>>
>>>> The 24hoursupport.helpdesk newsgroup serves no useful purpose at
>>>> all, other than as a repostory for stupid questions and equally
>>>> stupid replies. It is not advisable to read any post in
>>>> 24hoursupport.helpdesk, let alone half believe it. The newsgroup is
>>>> populated by childish fuckwits whose posts consist entirely of
>>>> "Please, spit the hook...." and "snigger hahaha." If you decide to
>>>> risk your sanity and actually post or read and believe any of the
>>>> things posted in 24hoursupport.helpdesk, you will find it helpful
>>>> to know that 24hoursupport.helpdesk is full of idiot trolls.
>>>> Posters to killfile include Brian H, Mike and Mara. Under no
>>>> circumstances should you accept anything that these trolls might post,
>>>> no matter
>>>> how plausible their arguments may sound. Under no circumstances
>>>> should you accept the unnoficial faq,
>>>> regularly posted by a known plagiarist. The poster's real name is
>>>> Ed Jablonowski and his current posting identity is <@.>. He has
>>>> been forced to alter it a number of times due to being caught
>>>> red-handed
>>>> plagiarising other people's advice and sticking it on his website,
>>>> passing it off as his own work. MICROSOFT PROFESSIONALS
>>>> =======================
>>>> The term Microsoft Professional is used to describe MVPs, MCSE, etc
>>>> and is a euphemism for unpaid prostitute. As an unbroken rule, they
>>>> either post complete and utter crap or they post incomplete
>>>> answers. If you receive a post from anyone passing themselves off as a
>>>> paid
>>>> prostitute or Microsoft Professional, discard the advice
>>>> immediately. If the advice sounds at least half plausible, it is
>>>> probably plagiarised anyway. SEARCH ENGINES
>>>> ==============
>>>> Nine times out of ten, posters DO NOT know what a search engine is,
>>>> let alone know how to use one. This is acceptable only in
>>>> 24hoursupport.helpdesk, but not in alt.os.windows-xp. The losers in
>>>> 24hoursupport.helpdesk have plenty of free time on their hands and
>>>> will be very happy to undertake a search for you.
>>>>
>>>> If you are posting into 24hoursupport.helpdesk and you do know how
>>>> to use a search engine, simply exercise sheer mental laziness and
>>>> express an expectation that some mug in the group will do it for
>>>> for you. OFF TOPIC POSTS
>>>> ===============
>>>> Many groups have charters describing what is and is not considered
>>>> appropriate. Please ignore any statements by your service provider
>>>> or by any poster in 24hoursupport.helpdesk that are centered around
>>>> the notion that continued posting of off-topic articles is
>>>> prohibited. Since 24hoursupport.helpdesk does not have a charter,
>>>> there is no concept of off topic posting. Please feel free to post
>>>> into 24hoursupport.helpdesk on any subject you so desire, as one
>>>> lady did whose left breast hung six inches lower than her right
>>>> one. Please note that alt.os.windows-xp DOES have an official and
>>>> approved charter. alt.os.windows-xp is defined in the charter as a
>>>> discussion group, not a technical support group. Discussion is
>>>> defined as the consideration of a subject by a group; an earnest
>>>> conversation. \Dis*cus"sion\, n. [L. discussio a shaking,
>>>> examination, discussion: cf. F. discussion.] 1. The act or process of
>>>> discussing by breaking
>>>> up, or dispersing, as a tumor, or the like. 2. The act of
>>>> discussing or exchanging reasons; examination by argument; debate;
>>>> disputation; agitation. To fully understand the implications of
>>>> this, consider the word
>>>> Discussing. "Dis" as in this, "cussing" as in swearing.
>>>>
>>>> THANKS IN ADVANCE
>>>> =================
>>>> Posters who offer thanks in advance are indicating that they desire
>>>> no interaction with the posters in the newsgroup and are only
>>>> willing to read the replies of others without replying themselves.
>>>> If you post thanks in adance, please expect to be told to get
>>>> fucked in advance. THANKS, IT WORKED
>>>> =================
>>>> It is a generally accepted principle that when you obtain a clear
>>>> cut solution, you never say thanks, kiss my arse, or even tell the
>>>> helper to fuck right off and die. Do not reply to solutions with
>>>> any notion or idication that you are in any way remotely thankful.
>>>> Especially do not tell anyone that the solution worked. Also see
>>>> REPLIES BY E-MAIL. DO NOT TAKE THE ADVICE GIVEN YOU
>>>> ================================
>>>> It is quite acceptable to receive top-notch advice but to NOT take
>>>> that advice and instead accuse the posters in
>>>> 24hoursupport.helpdesk of not knowing anything at all. It is preferable
>>>> if you have
>>>> preconceived ideas of what the fix should be and then proceed to
>>>> dispute the advice anyone in 24hoursupport.helpdesk might provide.
>>>> This is especially effective if you are able to constuct a question
>>>> that elicits only the reply you are specifically looking for. Under
>>>> no circumstances should you attempt to describe just what it is you
>>>> are trying to achieve. Always try to construct your questions in
>>>> such a way that you only
>>>> get told what you want to hear. A good example question is "Do I
>>>> have to have two different programs or is their a way to put one
>>>> program on two computers?" If the advice is good advice, please
>>>> feel free to indicate your
>>>> displeasure and that you DO NOT like the advice. Please persist in
>>>> demanding only answers that would salve your dull conscience.
>>>>
>>>> WHAT IF YOU DO NOT GET ANY REPLIES OR YOU ONLY GET GIGGLED AT?
>>>> ==============================================================
>>>> It is acceptable practice in 24hoursupport.helpdesk to tell those
>>>> who swear at you that if they have nothing of value to add they
>>>> should keep shut. Please conveniently ignore the fact that
>>>> 24hoursupport.helpdesk is a public newsgroup and freedom of speech
>>>> is a valued right in many countries.
>>>> It is not acceptable for anyone to choose not to help you and then
>>>> tell you that's their choice so it's your bad luck.
>>>>
>>>> ALL QUESTIONS MUST BE POSTED IN HTML AND IN ALL CAPS.
>>>> =====================================================
>>>> Contrary to what certain trolls will tell you, this is NOT a text
>>>> only group. HTML should be used for posting all questions. All text
>>>> in HTML posts must be IN CAPITALS LETTERS.
>>>>
>>>> PLEASE SET YOUR PC CLOCK FORWARD 2 DAYS BEFORE POSTING.
>>>> =======================================================
>>>> If you want a fast response to your plight, always set your PC
>>>> clock forward by at least 48 hours before posting. This way, your
>>>> message remains on the top of the stack and guarantees that anyone
>>>> entering the group will see your message first.
>>>>
>>>> IF YOU ARE REPLYING TO SOMEONE, QUOTE ALL THE TEXT AND TYPE YOUR
>>>> REPLY AT THE BOTTOM OF THE POST.
>>>> =========================================================================
>>>> It is imperative that you quote all the text in a reply, without
>>>> editing it, and commence posting from the bottom of your reply. By
>>>> doing this, you preserve the electronic conversation and keep it in
>>>> a logical sequence, top to bottom, just as you would read a book.
>>>>
>>>> NAME CALLING IS ACCEPTABLE AND REQUIRED.
>>>> ========================================
>>>> Since you will not always get the answer you desire every time you
>>>> post into 24hoursupport.helpdesk, it is a good idea to have a few
>>>> swear words ready to toss around. If you are in a real hurry for a
>>>> reply, please swear liberally in your original post to save time.
>>>> See the end of this FAQ for a list of acceptable swear words.
>>>>
>>>> HELPING OTHERS WHEN YOU CANNOT FIX YOUR OWN ISSUES
>>>> ==================================================
>>>>
>>>> If you have posted a plea for help into 24hoursupport.helpdesk and
>>>> it is a very simple problem to resolve, you are qualified to
>>>> provide technical advice to anyone you see fit on any issue you
>>>> desire. You are also qualified to provide technical responses if you
>>>> know of
>>>> someone who owns a computer or have heard of rumours of anyone
>>>> owning computer. If you fall into this category and are too lazy or
>>>> too stupid to read the posting guidelines in SECTION 3 of this
>>>> document, then follow the bigjon
>>>> (jhy...@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx) rule of technical support:
>>>> "I just post thoughts and ideas that may or may not be of use."
>>>>
>>>> By applying the bigjon rule, you should be in a postion to reply to
>>>> the following genuine problem:
>>>>
>>>> "My system hard disk is developing problems and I want to transfer
>>>> the contents of C: to a new drive without buying Norton Ghost?"
>>>>
>>>> If you correctly apply the bigjon rule, your advice would be "Buy
>>>> Norton Ghost."
>>>>
>>>> If you apply the bigjon rule of technical support and get into an
>>>> argument with the original poster about your reply, just apply the
>>>> gregh rule of technical support:
>>>>
>>>> "Look, you low-grade moron, you got an answer."
>>>>
>>>> That's right. The gregh rule of technical support is, "An answer is
>>>> an answer, no matter how stupid it is and you are a thankless piece
>>>> of shit for not knowing that."
>>>>
>>>> IF YOU HAVE A VIRUS, ATTACH IT TO YOUR POST.
>>>> ============================================
>>>> This is vital. Posts about possible viruses cannot be answered
>>>> without the actual virus being attached for analysis. Please make
>>>> sure you do this. ADVERTISING AND OTHER ATTACHMENTS
>>>> =================================
>>>> Please feel free to post fisting and bestiality videos. The bigger
>>>> the file, the better.
>>>>
>>>> As the folk who inhabit 24hoursupport.helpdesk are mostly
>>>> beer-swilling rednecks and deranged hillbillies living trailer
>>>> parks located in the wilds of the Alabama boondocks, access to
>>>> radio and televison services is very limited. Please feel free to
>>>> advertise your haberdashery, and do it frequently. Attaching
>>>> mind-bogglingly
>>>> fast animated gifs that carry an epilepsy warning is highly
>>>> encouraged. TEST POSTS
>>>> ==========
>>>> It is not always possible to discern the tell-tale signs of
>>>> intelligent life in 24hoursupport.helpdesk, so test posts are
>>>> always welcome. Please ensure that you post a test using your real
>>>> e-mail address. The subject header should be along the lines of
>>>> "TESTING TESTING 123" and the contents should contain the
>>>> following: ICICLES, POPSICLES, SPECTACLES, TESTI ... NG 123
>>>>
>>>> REPLIES BY E-MAIL
>>>> =================
>>>> It is always best to request that someone send you a private e-mail
>>>> in response to a question posted into the group. Since
>>>> 24hoursupport.helpdesk is populated by trolls, fuckwits and
>>>> giggling girls, there really is no point in posting into the group
>>>> then watching and waiting to see if anyone replies. If you get a reply,
>>>> it's either going say "Please, spit the hook...." or "snigger
>>>> hahaha" and since nobody has an interest in knowing what the fix
>>>> was so that others can be helped in the future, there's no point
>>>> keeping it in the group. SAMPLE QUESTIONS
>>>> ================
>>>> Use the following sample post as a guide to formulating your text
>>>> and getting it ready for 24hoursupport.helpdesk:
>>>>
>>>> I HAVE NO CLUE ABOUT ANYTHING! MY EMAIL DOESN'T WORK AND I DON'T
>>>> KNOW WHAT MY PASSWORD IS!!!!!!? CAN YOU TELL ME MY PASSWORD
>>>> PLEASE???? I DROPPED BAKED BEANS ON MY KEYBOARD AND NOW MY PET
>>>> FERRET WON'T GET OFF! WHAT CAN I DO???!!!????? SOMETHING HAS GONE
>>>> WRONG! I KEEP GETTING AN ERROR MESSAGE!!!! WHAT DOES IT
>>>> MEAN????!!!!????? Note the vigorous use of exclamation and
>>>> question marks for added
>>>> urgency and emphasis of your plight.
>>>>
>>>> SAMPLE REPLIES
>>>> ==============
>>>> If the fly amid the social worker fondles a tally-whacker, then the
>>>> shit-lipped blancmange convulses. A blowy hippopotamus is halfway
>>>> dead on target. If the forger strikes the lout, then the
>>>> flap-dragon farts. Usually a diminutively cross-eyed miscreant
>>>> giggles, therefore a wrongly camel-toed dick sleeps. When a head
>>>> louse is inept, the fainthearted farkleberry ogles the arse. A
>>>> lout betwixt a gerbil, the cutpurse onto a pimp, and some squirrel are
>>>> what made America
>>>> rotten. The knotted aardvark begins, and a fatly amoeban pubic hair
>>>> lingers;
>>>> however, a reversibly argus-eyed criminal bends a glove doll amid
>>>> some guzzler. Furthermore, a dogfish burps, and a reprobate afore
>>>> the frottage fondles the bouffant tramp.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> SECTION 2
>>>> =========
>>>> =========
>>>>
>>>> This is the 24hoursupport.helpdesk and alt.os.windows-xp Computer
>>>> Problem Help Request Form. All posters requesting help in this
>>>> newsgroup are required to complete this form and post the answers
>>>> to the group. The regulars will then determine what course of action
>>>> needs to be taken to resolve your problem.
>>>>
>>>> 1. Describe the problem.
>>>>
>>>> 2. Now describe the problem accurately.
>>>>
>>>> 3. Please speculate wildly about the cause of the problem.
>>>>
>>>> 4. PART 1: Select the severity of the problem:
>>>>
>>>> a. Minor
>>>> b. Insignificant
>>>> c. Trivial
>>>> d. Mildly annoying
>>>> e. Immaterial
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> PART 2: Select how you will feel when you are told to "fuck off,
>>>> you dumb cunt":
>>>>
>>>> a. Distressed
>>>> b. Disturbed
>>>> c. Heartbroken
>>>> d. Offended
>>>> e. Awful
>>>> f. Degraded
>>>> g. Cheap
>>>> h. Loathsome
>>>> i. Wretched
>>>>
>>>> 5. Is the computer plugged in?
>>>>
>>>> 6. Is it turned on?
>>>>
>>>> 7. Have you read the manual?
>>>>
>>>> 8. Are you sure you've read the manual?
>>>>
>>>> 9. Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual?
>>>>
>>>> 10. Do you think you understood the manual?
>>>>
>>>> Yes? Why can't you fix the problem yourself?
>>>>
>>>> No? Why buy a computer if you don't understand them?
>>>>
>>>> 11. Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem?
>>>>
>>>> 12. Have you tried to fix it yourself?
>>>>
>>>> Yes? You idiot.
>>>>
>>>> No? Try to fix it yourself.
>>>>
>>>> 13. Have you made it worse?
>>>>
>>>> Yes? You idiot.
>>>>
>>>> No? Oh well, shit happens.
>>>>
>>>> 14. Will you get into trouble?
>>>>
>>>> Yes? You poor bugger.
>>>>
>>>> No? Oh well, shit happens.
>>>>
>>>> 15. Can you blame someone else?
>>>>
>>>> Yes? Problem solved.
>>>>
>>>> No? Go to Question 15.
>>>>
>>>> SECTION 3
>>>> =========
>>>> =========
>>>>
>>>> This section should be read and followed by those wishing to reply
>>>> to a question.
>>>>
>>>> Do not read anything that original posters write. Instead, to
>>>> support your argument, offer an interpretation of what you thought
>>>> they might have said. You may also expand on this by offering an
>>>> opinion of what you think they should have said.
>>>>
>>>> If you are inadvertently forced to read something written by an
>>>> original poster, never read it in sequential order and certainly
>>>> never, ever read a post from an original poster in context. It is
>>>> imperative to try to understand what you think the original poster
>>>> is trying to convey rather than what he really is attempting to
>>>> say. Reading a post from an original poster in any sort of order
>>>> will only retard your assessment of what you think he might have or
>>>> should have said. If you find yourself reading a post from original
>>>> poster, you should
>>>> take great care to remember that what you think an original poster
>>>> meant to say is far more important than what he really tried to
>>>> say. You should always interpret original poster scribblings in usenet
>>>> as actually describing the way they think, though this does not
>>>> apply if the original poster is trying to describe the way they think
>>>> things should be. This is an extremely difficult call to make and
>>>> if you are finding it
>>>> difficult going, just take it out of context, misquote it and use
>>>> it in evidence against the original poster. This is a very good
>>>> fallback position as original posters never notice it. However be
>>>> aware that America has a Constitution to protect the rights of its
>>>> citizens, thus American original posters have the right to remain
>>>> stupid. You should consider all original posters to be vacuous and
>>>> stupid.
>>>> Do not allow bleating and whining original posters to convince you
>>>> that you are being unfair to them as this tactic will merely divert
>>>> you from the truth. A little bit of history under your belt will
>>>> go a long way to
>>>> understanding the original poster psyche. If you ever find yourself
>>>> discussing Vietnam with an American original poster, you will do
>>>> well to remember the three American original poster interpretations
>>>> of the outcome of that war, vis-a-vis:
>>>>
>>>> A) America won
>>>> B) America lost
>>>> C) America neither won nor lost. It just came second
>>>>
>>>> Remember that original poster posts are complete fabrications,
>>>> which are devoid of scholarship and never contain a single considered
>>>> thought. It is best to skip an original poster's messages
>>>> altogether because only very small fragments of their posts will
>>>> be meaningful anyway. If you must reply to a post from an original
>>>> poster and wish to give
>>>> the original poster the benefit of reading his/her words again by
>>>> including quotations from their post in order to prove that you are
>>>> right and the original poster is wrong, the following procedure
>>>> will assist you: Cut out all the paragraphs from his post and keep
>>>> only every third
>>>> or fourth one -- This can be varied according to the phases of the
>>>> seasons, the days of the week, or even the music being played on
>>>> the radio -- for example, if today is Wednesday and it is winter
>>>> and Elvis Presley music is being played, cut out three lines from each
>>>> paragraph, cut out every second paragraph that is left, cut the
>>>> last paragraph and paste it to where the first one was. If you are
>>>> not too concerned about being very sensitive to original
>>>> posters and do not care about their self-esteem (thanks Gnu), then
>>>> by all means, paste quotes from other people's messages and force
>>>> the original poster to admit they were his comments.
>>>>
>>>> It is quite acceptable and within the limits of permissible
>>>> discussion with an original poster to leave words, phrases,
>>>> sentences, and entire paragraphs out of the quote. It is also
>>>> allowable to engage in stealthy fact swapping and exaggeration in
>>>> order to conceal and confuse the original context of the original
>>>> poster's opinion beyond recognition. In short, if it is to your
>>>> benefit and the original poster's disadvantage, it is allowable.
>>>> However you should be wary of even hinting to the original poster
>>>> that you have done any of these things because the information may
>>>> come in handy when the original poster becomes psychotic and
>>>> follows you from one newsgroup to the next and maniacally posts 9kb
>>>> messages containing what he or she thinks is proof that you were
>>>> wrong. If you feel that the original poster you are engaged in
>>>> debate with is attempting any of these devices you should wail loudly
>>>> and
>>>> accuse the original poster of typical small-mindedness, under-handed
>>>> fact
>>>> swapping, deception, deceitfulness, treachery, dishonesty,
>>>> duplicity, perfidy ... and whatever other words your superior (by
>>>> default) education has provided to your repertoire.
>>>>
>>>> On the subject of repertoire, the original poster runs out of ideas
>>>> after exhausting the inevitable poo, bum, wee, dick, arse, tit,
>>>> cunt, mother, brother, sister, windoz suks references. You can help
>>>> the original poster by providing them with the following:
>>>>
>>>> Instead of you putting not even a single thought into anything you
>>>> post, just use this list. All you do is post the number for the
>>>> lame you want to devestate people with. Just hit anyone with a good old
>>>> 6, 11, 13 combo and they're out for the count... lamed senseless:
>>>>
>>>> 1. spnak! nice backpedal! You replied so I win.
>>>> (dance, owned etc.) You are my bitch. Spank.
>>>> You are my toy. You are delusional. You love me.
>>>> You are jealous. You follow me around. You are
>>>> obsessed.
>>>> 2. Slurp! Get a room. etc.
>>>> 3. My rules count. I won't reply anymore therefore
>>>> I win. Post edit, context snip, etc. I knew all along.
>>>> That was my intention. YHBT.
>>>> 4. Fag, native, fuck your mother,
>>>> sister, brother,  father. Cock sucker,
>>>> asshole, brain damaged, retard, jackass,
>>>> newbie, incompetent, monkey, boring, asswipe,
>>>> loser, child, village idiot, immature, necrophile,
>>>> paedophile, head - groin, fuck you, fuck off,
>>>> geriatric, amateur, nigger, inmate, bestiality
>>>> etc.
>>>> 5. Testicles, anus, penis, faecal matter, urine,
>>>> vagina, bodily excretions, masturbation etc.
>>>> 6. blink (clueless)
>>>> 7. MEOW, repeat, same old ... etc.
>>>> 8. Typo, spelling, grammar, punctuation,
>>>> comprehension lame, plagiarism.
>>>> 9. I'm rubber, you're glue! IKYABWAI, lame by
>>>> proxy, truth hurts, takes one to know one.
>>>> So you don't know the answer then? Get a
>>>> life. That proves my point. You remind me of, etc.
>>>> 10. Whine/pout/flip-flop, FOOM self-nuke.
>>>>
>>>> In conclusion, the method outlined here for engaging original
>>>> posters in discussion will almost guarantee that you will be in the
>>>> forefront of the original poster's mind... along with his or her
>>>> psychoses, hallucinations, nausea, dizziness, anxiety, panic
>>>> attacks, insomnia, confusion and depression.
>>>>
>>>> If you play the mind-game right, you can bypass the original
>>>> poster's conscious mind (well, what little there is of it, anyway)
>>>> and enter whatever information you so desire directly into their
>>>> thick bone heads and they'll never ever know -- unless you keep
>>>> archives so
>>>> you can rub their faces in it when they psychotically chase you around
>>>> usenet yelling, "I WIN! I WIN! I WIN!"
>>>>
>>>> Remember now, what is important is what you claim the original
>>>> poster said, not what the original poster actually said. Be
>>>> untruthful, deceptive, ambiguous, arrogant, condescending,
>>>> pompous, patronising, scornful and wishy-washy. Who cares? The
>>>> original poster might, but does anyone else? Who will know? Certainly
>>>> not the original poster.
>>>>
>>>> IMPORTANT FOOTNOTE: "Me too" posters and "it works for me" posters
>>>> are original posters by default. It is quite acceptable to assume
>>>> that a "Me too" poster or "it works for me" poster is, in actual
>>>> fact, a wannabe original poster. Wannabe original posters should be
>>>> as mercilessly newbie-fucked as original posters.
>>>>
>>>> ADDITIONAL NOTE: Children may be present in these newsgroups. If
>>>> you suspect that children are reading your posts, ensure that your
>>>> posts are littered with florid vocabulary. Acceptable words include;
>>>> Fuck, Shit, Piss, Hell, Cunt, Pussy, Tits, Ass. Mother Fucker, Son
>>>> of a Bitch, Nigger, Bastard, Bitch, Whore, Balls, Cum, Damn, Holy Shit,
>>>> Holy Fuck, Holy Mother Fucker, Hard-on, Corn-hole, butt-fuck,
>>>> Chink, Kike, Cock sucker, Clit, Nuts, Fuck face, Blow job, Header,
>>>> God Damn, Screw, Trailer Trash, Fucked up, Fart, Snot, Bugger,
>>>> Jerk-off, Prick, Dick, Peter, Jew boy, Slut, Fag, Queer, Shit,
>>>> Ass, Dumb Ass, Dyke, Nigger lover, Nigger hater, Ass-hole, gook,
>>>> gooner, Arse, Bloody, Spick, Tramp. APPENDIX A
>>>> ==========
>>>> ==========
>>>>
>>>> If you prefer not to use the words FUCK, CUNT, COCK, or TITS,
>>>> choose a substitute from the following list:
>>>>
>>>> Pork sword, godamn, bitch, bastard, crud, crap, turd, shit,
>>>> dingleberry, piss, piddle, leak, mung, cheese, laying some cable,
>>>> dropping a load, ass, booty, hiney, tokhes, bum, buns, rump,
>>>> cheeks, tits, jugs, bazooms, knockers, knobs, lungs, balloons,
>>>> brown eyes, balls, nuts, onions, jewels, rocks, stones, ballbag,
>>>> jism, come, shoot, cream, wad, juice, peckertracks, pearl necklace,
>>>> crabs,
>>>> dose, syph, clap, gleet, raincoat, scumbag, rubber, gasket, french,
>>>> tickler, dildo, fuck, screw, lay, diddle, push, plow, hump, cut,
>>>> bang, poke, batter, wham, beef injection, vitamin F, knock-up,
>>>> putout, dipyourwick, hide the salami, quickie, nooner, matinee, pop
>>>> your cookies, bust your nuts, get your rocks off, bananas & cream,
>>>> piece of ass, nookie, poontang, cunt, cooz, cooch, crack, gash,
>>>> notch, twat, slash, ginch, hole, hatch, slit, snatch, quim, bob,
>>>> snapper, beaver, tail, pussy, muff, bearded clam, furburger, tuna,
>>>> taco, bush, hair pie, wooley booger, glory hole, merkin, mucket,
>>>> button, clit, cherry, clamp, snappin' pussy, boy in the boat, man
>>>> in the, canoe, mutt rag, on the rag, flying the flag, riding the
>>>> cotton pony, having the painters in, hard-on, rod-on, bone-on,
>>>> boner, stiff, piss hard, wet dream, hot nuts, horny, randy, blue balls,
>>>> lovers nuts, cunt struck, queefer, pussy fart, asshole, bunghole,
>>>> little brown eyeball, bugger, brown, ream, cornhole, buttfuck,
>>>> backdoor, bite the brown, sugar bowl pie, mustard, road, up the old
>>>> dirt road, hershey highway, fudge packer, pound cake, finger fuck,
>>>> dry hump, cop a feel, tit fuck, french fuck, one man band, hand
>>>> job, french job, blow job, head job, rim job, hum job, pipe job,
>>>> suckoff, give head, give face, gobble, cop a stem, cop a doodle,
>>>> go down on, dive, moustache ride, sit on one's face, yodeling in
>>>> the gulley, sixty-nine, seventy-one, sixty-eight, golden showers,
>>>> around the world, daisy chain, sloppy seconds, dog style, mongolian
>>>> cluster
>>>> fuck, group grope, gang bang, circle jerk, well hung, dick, prick,
>>>> dork, dong, tong, doniker, dingus, wang, schlong, schwanz, schmuck,
>>>> putz, pork, pecker, peter, prong, tool, rod, hammer, shaft, stick,
>>>> snake, knob, lob, stem, root, joint, piece, gun, meat, beef,
>>>> weenie, skin flute, meat whistle, tallywacker, middle leg, short
>>>> arm, rod of love, joy stick, love muscle, dingdong, tube steak,
>>>> pink pencil, bald headded mouse, trouser snake, one eyed monster, one
>>>> eyed
>>>> wonder worm, jelly roll, puddin', jerkoff, jackoff, whackoff,
>>>> pulloff, beatoff, fist fuck, wanking, beating your meat, flogging your
>>>> dong,
>>>> pounding, your pud, bleeding your weed, stroking it, giving it a
>>>> tug, beating the bishop, jerk the gherkin, shootin' putty at the
>>>> moon, pocket pool, pimp, hooker, trick, queer, queen, punk, faggot,
>>>> quiff, dyke, diesel dyke, lezzie, bulldagger, box lunch, seafood,
>>>> rough trade, eat me, fuck you, up your ass, fuck off, piss off,
>>>> piss on you, stick it, stuff it, shove it, ram it, jam it, cram it, sit
>>>> on it, get laid, get in, get off, get it on, get it up, mother
>>>> fucker, cock sucker, old fart, fart face, fart sniffer, cocksman,
>>>> scatfan, peckerhead, fuck up, ball breaker, ball, buster, a real
>>>> pisser, cock teaser, cuntslapper, ass kisser, brown nose, shitass,
>>>> shit heel, douchebag, motherstrapalonian, fuck trophy, cunt nugget,
>>>> fleshloaf, cunt dropping, walking sperm, infestation, anklebiter,
>>>> booger-eater, bratzilla, crib lizard, crotchcricket, crotchfruit,
>>>> crumbcruncher, crumb grinder, fartling, floormonster, goldensprog,
>>>> hell spawn, kinderwhore, nipplecrunchers, nose miner, pussfruit,
>>>> shit factory, sperm 'n egg omlette, sproglodyte, snotmonster, ball
>>>> buster, bearded, beating the bishop, beef beef, eyes, bust your
>>>> nuts, clam, french tickler, get your rocks off, hand job, hell
>>>> spawn, injection, jam it, man in the canoe, middle leg, mongolian
>>>> cluster mother fucker, moustache, ride, muff dive, mustard road, on
>>>> the rag, one eyed monster, pencil, pink pipe job, pounding your
>>>> pud, rough rubber, factory, short, arm, skin, flute, trade, tuna
>>>> taco, up your ass, up your arse, wet dream, yodeling in the
>>>> gulley, pearl necklace, boy in the boat, little brown eyeball, up
>>>> your arse, shitarse, Aaron's Rod, Adam's Cave, Altar of Love, Apples,
>>>> Baby-Maker, Bald-Headed, Bald-Headed Butler, Ballocks, Baloney,
>>>> Banana, Bangers, Bat, Bathtub eel, Bayonet, Bean Tosser, Bearded
>>>> Blood Sausage, Beecham's Pills, Belly Buster, Belly Entrance, Belly
>>>> Ruffian, Bird, Bird's, Black Bess, Blade, Blue Vein Meatroll,
>>>> Bluebeard's Closet, Bone, Boo-Boos, Box, Broomstick, Brown Madam,
>>>> Bull's Eye, Bum Tickler, Bunny, Bush Beater, Bushy, Button Hole,
>>>> Button-Hole Worker, Cabbage Patch, Canal, Candle, Candle Holder,
>>>> Carnal Stump, Carrot, Cat's Meat, Cave of, Cavern, Cellar Door,
>>>> Charlies, Cherries, Chestnuts, Chicken, Child-Getter,
>>>> Chink-Stopper, Chocha, Clangers, Cleft, Club, Clutch, Cock,
>>>> Cockpit, Cojones, Cookie, Coot, Cootch, Cooze, Corey, Coupler, Crack
>>>> Haunter,
>>>> Cracksman, Cranny, Cranny Hunter, Creamstick, Crease, Crevice,
>>>> Crook, Crotch, Crumpet, Cubes, Culty, Dagger, Danglers, Dart of
>>>> Love, Dearest Member, Dicky, Dimple, Ding-Dong, Dinger,
>>>> Dingle-Dangle, Dipstick, Divine Scar, Dodaddy, Dolly, Donut,
>>>> Dooflicker, Down-Leg, Dragon, Drain, Dummy, Eel, Eel-Skinner, Eggs,
>>>> End, Family Jewels, Family-Organ, Fiddle Bow, Fish, Fish Tank,
>>>> Fishing Rod, Flapper, Flytrap, Fool-Sticker, Foreman, Fort,
>>>> Frinding Tool, Front Window, Fucker, Fur, Furbox, Furrow, Gadget,
>>>> Gap, Gaper, Gardener, Gate, Giggle Stick, Giggling, Ginny,
>>>> Girl-Street, Glands, Goat-Milker, Goolies, Gooser, Gravy Maker,
>>>> Gristle, Gully-Hole, Gut Stick, Gut Wrench, Hair, Hair Splitter,
>>>> Haircourt, Hairy Hot Dog, Hambone, Hanging Johnny, Happy Valley,
>>>> Harbor of Hope, Harmony, Heat-Seeking Moisture Missile, Hill,
>>>> histle, Hoe Handle, Hog Eye, Holy Porker, Honey-Hive, Honey-Pot, Horn,
>>>> Horse Collar, Hose, Hot
>>>> Box, Hot Spot, Under the House, Irish Fortune, Itching Jenny, Jack
>>>> in the Box, Jack Nasty-Face, Jemson, Jerking Iron, Jigger, Jing
>>>> Jang, Jockam, John, Johnnie, Johnny One-Eye, Johnson, Joy, Joy
>>>> Prong, Kanakas, Kidney Cracker, Kidney Wiper, King Member, Knocker,
>>>> Ladies' Delight, Ladies' Lollipop, Ladies' Treasure, Lance of life,
>>>> Life Preserver, Little Brother, Little Willie, Live Sausage, Liver
>>>> Turner, Lizard, Lobcock, Lobster, Lollypop, Long, Love, Love Dart,
>>>> Love Gun, Lucy, Lung Disturber, Mad Mick, Magic Wand, Man-Root,
>>>> Marbles, Marrow Bone, Marshmallows, Master John, Master of
>>>> Ceremonies, Meat Hook, Member, Merrymaker, Milkman, Mister
>>>> Goodwrench, Mister Tom, Mouse, Muscle, Mutton Dagger, My Body's
>>>> Captain, Nards, Natural Scythe, Needle, Nimrod, Nippy, Noodle, Old
>>>> Blind Bob, One-Eyed Milkman, One-Eyed Night Crawler in the
>>>> Turtle-Neck, One-Eyed Trouser, One-Eyed Wonder, Pant Muscle,
>>>> Pee-Pee, Pen, Pendulum, Perch, Piccolo, Picklock, Pikestaff, Pile
>>>> Driver, Pin, Pipe, Pisser, Pistol, Plugtail, Plums, Pocket, Pocket
>>>> Piccolo, Pointer, Poker, Pole, Post, Pounders, Pride & Joy, Pud,
>>>> Pudding, Pump Handle, Pup, Purple-Helmeted Warrior of Love,
>>>> Quickening Peg, Quimstake, Ram, Ramrod, Raw Meat, Reamer, Red Cap,
>>>> Rocket, Rolling Pin, Rudder, Rupert, Russel the, Salami, Sausage,
>>>> Sceptre, Seeds, Sexing Piece, Shmock, Silent Flute, Slashers,
>>>> Spades, Spigot, Spike-Faggot, Spindle, Split-Rump, Spout, Spunk
>>>> Holders, Squirrel Food, St. Peter, Staff, Steak, Steaming Hot
>>>> Kanga, Sting, Stump, Sugar Stick, Sweater, Swingers, Sword, Tail
>>>> Pin, Tally-Whacker, Tassel, Tent Pig, The Bald-Headed Champ,
>>>> Thing, Third Leg, Thistle, Throbber, Throbbing Python of Love,
>>>> Thursday, Tickle-Gizzard, Torch of Cupid, Toy, Trap-Stick, Trouser
>>>> Anaconda, Trout, Tube, Uncle Dick, Vomiting Cobra, Wand , Wazoo,
>>>> Weapon, Wedge, Whacker, Whip, Whore-Pipe, Wick, Willie, Wingle, Wire,
>>>> Wonder, Worm, Yang, Yard, Yosh, Zubrick, FUCK!, a bit of beef, a
>>>> bit of bouncy-bouncy, a bit of butt, a bit of cauliflower, a bit of
>>>> crumpet, a bit of cuddle, a bit of fat, a bit of flat, a bit of
>>>> fork, a bit of front door work, a bit of fun, a bit of hair, a bit
>>>> of how's yer father, a bit of it, a bit of nifty, a bit of nobble,
>>>> a bit of nookey, a bit of pork, a bit of quimsy, a bit of raspberry,
>>>> a bit of rough, a bit of rumpty-tumpty, a bit of rumpy-bumpy, a bit
>>>> of rumpy-pumpy, a bit of snug, a bit of the other, a bit of skin,
>>>> a bit of snug for a bit of stiff, a bit of stiff, a bit of the old in
>>>> and
>>>> out, a dash up the channel, a knee trembler, a little game of
>>>> hide-the-sausage, a little o the one with tother, a little
>>>> one-on-one, a piece of crumpet, a poke in the whiskers, a poke
>>>> through the whiskers, a spot of Cupids archery, a spot hard
>>>> breathing, a squeeze and a squirt, accommodate, act of
>>>> androgynation, act of darkness, act of generation, act of kind, act
>>>> of love, act of pleasure, act of shame, act of sport, Adam-and-Eve
>>>> it, adamise, afternoon delight, all the way, amorous congress,
>>>> amorous rites, ashes hauled, assault with a friendly weapon, at it,
>>>> baby-making love, bag, bag up, bag of coke, bait the hook,
>>>> balaclava, balling, balling the jack, balls eye, baloney hop,
>>>> baloney ride, bam bam, bananas and cream, bandicooting, bang away,
>>>> bang like a shithouse door in a gale, bang like a shithouse door in
>>>> the wind, banging, banging away, Barrer Moke, bash leather, basket
>>>> making, bat up, bawdy banquet, bayonet drill, BBQ'N, be intimate
>>>> with, be with a woman, beanfeast, bear play, beast with two backs,
>>>> beat someone with the ugly stick, beating around the bush, beaver
>>>> shooting, bed someone, bed someone down, bed rite, bed sports,
>>>> bedtime story, bedwork, belly slapping, belly-bump, belly-bumping,
>>>> belly ride, belly-to-belly, belly warmer, bellying, belt, best and
>>>> plenty of it, the, between the sheets, big F, big number, big time,
>>>> biological event, bisecting the triangle, bit of beef, bit of
>>>> bouncy-bouncy, bit of butt, bit of cauliflower, bit of cuddle, bit
>>>> of cunt, bit of ebony goodness, bit of fat, bit of flat, bit of
>>>> fork, bit of front door work, bit of fun, bit of hair, bit of hard
>>>> for a bit of soft, bit of meat, bit of nifty, bit of nobble, bit of
>>>> nookey, bit of pork, bit of quimsy, bit of raspberry, bit of rough,
>>>> bit of skinbit of snug, bit of snug for a bit of stiff, bit of
>>>> stiff, bit of the old in and out, bit of the other, blanket
>>>> hornpipe, block, blow off on the groundsels, blow off the loose
>>>> corns, bludgeon the flaps, board, boff, boffing, boink, boinking,
>>>> the bold thing, bone smuggling, bone-up, bone dance, boning, bonk,
>>>> bonking, boom-boom, bop, bopping, bore, bottom knocking, bottom
>>>> wetting, bounce in bed, bounce the bedspring, bouncing,
>>>> bouncy-bouncy, box step, box the compass, break a lance with, break
>>>> a peter on, break open the pie, breed, breeding, broad-jumping,
>>>> buckwild, buckwilding, bull session, bulling, bump and grind, bump
>>>> bellies, bump bones, bump fur, bump nasties, bump pelvis, bump
>>>> uglies, bumping pussy, bumping uglies, bunk-up, buried alive,
>>>> burlap, bury face upwards, bury it, bury the bishop, bury the bone,
>>>> bury the hatchet where it won't rust, bury the hobbit, bury the
>>>> salami, bury the weenie, bury the wick, bush patrol, bushwack, bust
>>>> some booty, bust her out, butcher, butter and eggs, butter the
>>>> muffin, buttock ball, buttock jig, buttock stirring, buttonhole
>>>> work, buzz, buzz the brillo, californicate, calk, cane, carnal
>>>> acquaintance, carnal connection, carnal engagement, carnal
>>>> knowledge, carnal pleasures, carnival knowledge, carry-me-down,
>>>> caterwauling, cut a side, cut a slice of the joint, catch an
>>>> oyster, cattle, cattle truck, caulk, cavaultcavaulting, chafer,
>>>> chamber combat, chamber games, change one's luck, changing your oil,
>>>> charge, charver, chauvering, chaver, check her oil, chimney sweep,
>>>> christen the yak, christening, chuck a tread, chuck, chunk, churn the
>>>> butter, click, clicket, climb, clubcock, cock up, cockstupration,
>>>> coit, coition, coiture, coitus, Colonel Puck, colonial puck, colt, come
>>>> about, come across, come over, come to my bed and we'll practice
>>>> parallel parking, coming and going, commerce, concubitus, congress,
>>>> conjugal act, conjugal embrace, conjugal relations, conjugal rites,
>>>> conjugals, conjugate, connubial pleasures, connubial relations,
>>>> consort with, consummate a marriage, consummate a relationship,
>>>> consummate a union, converse, cool out, copping, copula carnalis,
>>>> copula fornicatoria, copulate, copulating, copulation, corking,
>>>> corking the onion, corn on the cob, couch, couch rugby, couple,
>>>> coupling, couple with, courtesy fuck, cover, crack it, crack the
>>>> belly, cram, cranberry dip, crawl, creaming the twinkie, cucumber
>>>> rhumba, cuddle, cuddle-my-cuddle, cully-shangycunting, Cupid's
>>>> archery, cure the horn, curl her tail, cush, cut off the joint,
>>>> cutting a slice, cuzzie, daily, daily mail, dance, dance in the
>>>> sheets, dance on the mattress, dance the beginning of the world,
>>>> dance the blanket hornpipe, dance the buttocks jig, dance the
>>>> goat's jig, dance the married man's cotillion, dance the
>>>> matrimonial polka, dance the mattress jig, dance the miller's
>>>> reel, dance the reels o' Bogie, dance the sheets, dancing in the
>>>> sheets, darb, dash in the bloomers, dash up the channel, daub the
>>>> brush, deed, deed of kind, deed of pleasure, delivering the wood,
>>>> dibble, dick dip, dicky
>>>> dunk, dig in the wiskers, dig out, dinky tickle, dip one's bill, dip
>>>> the
>>>> fly, dip the wick, dip your stick, dip your stinger in the honey,
>>>> dipping the wick, dirty deed, the, dirty work at the crossroads,
>>>> disappearing cane trick, the, discourse, discussing Uganda,
>>>> disporting oneself, dive in the dark, dive into the dark, do, do a
>>>> back fall, do a bit of beef, do a bit of front door action, do a
>>>> bit of nifty, do a bottom-wetter, do a dicky dick, do a dive in the
>>>> dark, do a dogs rig, do a flop, do a grind, do horizontal
>>>> exercises, do a kindness to, do a leap, do a lewd infusion, do a line
>>>> with, do
>>>> a nifty, do an inside worry, do an upright, do a perpendicular, do
>>>> a push, do a rudeness to, do a slide up the board, do a spread, do
>>>> a tumble, do a woman's job for her, do it, do me nasty, do
>>>> miracles, do number three, do one's kind, do one's office, do over, do
>>>> slippery belly, do some good for yourself, do some nose paintaing,
>>>> do somebody, do the act of darkness, do the agreeable, do the bad
>>>> thing, do the beast with two backs, do the big nasty, do the bone
>>>> dance, do the business, do the chores, do the deed, do the dirty,
>>>> do the dirty deed, do the dirty thing, do the divine work of
>>>> fatherhood, do the do, do the filth, do the grown-up thing, do the
>>>> horizontal hula, do the horizontal mambo, do the horizontal tummy
>>>> bump, do the nasty, do the natural thing, do the naughty, do the
>>>> pussydo the rump-shaker, do the sex act, do the story with someone,
>>>> do the thing, do the trick, do the tube-snake boogey, do the
>>>> two-backed beast, do the ugly deed, do the ugly-bumpy, do the wild
>>>> thing, do what comes naturally, do what newlyweds do, doing the
>>>> thang, doing the wild thing, doinking, dock, dog, dog's match,
>>>> dog's rig, doggy-dancing, doing a perpendicular, doing it, Donald,
>>>> Donald Duck, doodle, drill, drive, drive into it, drive it home,
>>>> drive it to home base, drives the meat bus into tuna town, driving Miss
>>>> Daisy, driving the pink love bus into tuna town, drop ones load,
>>>> drop one's drawers, duelling bedsprings, dunk the dingus, dunk the
>>>> dolphin, dunk the love-muscle, dunk, dunking, dunking the love
>>>> muscle, Dutch treat, ear, ease, ease nature, ease oneself,
>>>> edeapsis, eff, effing, empty one's trash, engage in marriage joys,
>>>> engage in three to one and bound to lose, enjoy, enjoy a woman, enjoy a
>>>> plaster of warm guts, enjoy a roll in the hay, enjoy favors,
>>>> entertain, entertaining royalty, erotic congress, every night about
>>>> this time, exchange bodily fluids, exchange DNA, exchange flesh,
>>>> exercise one's marital rights, exercise the armadillo, exercise the
>>>> ferret, F, F-ing, F-word, face-to-face mating, fall backward, fall
>>>> in the furrow, fall to it, fast breathing, favor, feather bed jig,
>>>> federating, feed the bearded clam, feed the beever, feed the cat,
>>>> feed the clam, feed the dumb glutton, feed the dummy, feed the
>>>> fish, feed the monkey, feed the pussy, feed somebody's monkey,
>>>> feeding the bearded clam, fenorking, ferk, ferret, fettle, fickey
>>>> fick, fidget the midget in Bridget, filling the box, filling the
>>>> juicebox, firk,
>>>> firkin, first game ever played, fish supper, fishing for kippers,
>>>> fit, fit ends, fit end to end, fit pipes, fix her plumbing, fix
>>>> someone up, fizzing, flat dancing, flesh, flesh it, flesh session,
>>>> flimpflop, flop in, flop in the hay, fly-by-night, foining,
>>>> folk-dancing, fool around with, foot, foraminate, fore and aft,
>>>> fork, forking, fornicate, fornication, four-legged frolic, frail
>>>> job, frat, fraternize, fratting, free one's hips, Friar Tuck, frig,
>>>> frigging, front door work, fruit that made man wise, the, fuck-a
>>>> Jesuit, fuckation, fuck by the book, fuck one's brains out,
>>>> fucking, fuckle, fugging, fulke, fun and games, funch, funny
>>>> business, furgle, futter, futuere, futy, futz, futz around, game of
>>>> inches,
>>>> gasp and grunt, gaying it, genital intercourse, get a bellyful of
>>>> marrow, get a bellyful of pudding, get a bit, get a chunk, get a
>>>> crumpet, get a go at the creamstick, get a hunk, get a leg over,
>>>> get a little, get a piece, get a piece of ass, get a shot of leg, get a
>>>> shove in your blind eye, get a snippet, get a wet bottom, get a wet
>>>> one, get about her, get at it, get between the sheets with, get
>>>> buckwild, get busy, get down to business, get down to it, get down
>>>> with, get going, get hilt and hair, get home, get horizontal, get
>>>> hulled between wind and water, get into, get into bed with, get
>>>> into her pants, get into one's drawers, get Into some serious flesh,
>>>> get
>>>> into somebody's drawers, get into somebody's pants, get into the
>>>> pants of, get it off, get it off with, get Jack in the orchard, get
>>>> layed, get lucky, get mud for your turtle, get off the gun, get off
>>>> with, get on top of, get one's ashes hauled, get one's balls off,
>>>> get one's banana peeled, get one's chimney swept out, get one's
>>>> cookies, get ones end away, get one's end in, get one's end wet,
>>>> get one's greens, get one's jollies, get one's kettle mended, get
>>>> one's leather stretched, get one's leg across, get ones leg
>>>> lifted, get ones leg over, get one's noodle wet, get one's nuts
>>>> cracked, get
>>>> ones nuts off, get one's oats, get one's oil changed, get one's
>>>> pole varnished, get ones rocks off, get physical, get rigged, get
>>>> shot in the tail, get sloppy, get some, get some action, get some area,
>>>> get
>>>> some ass, get some big leg, get some cold cock, get some crack, get
>>>> some cunt, get some goose, get some hair, get some hole, get
>>>> someone into the cot, get some leg, get some nookie, get some
>>>> pussy, get some slickem on your hangdown, get some soft leg, get some
>>>> stuff,
>>>> get some tail, get some trim, get some quim, get some tweeze, get
>>>> stabbed in the thigh, get stuffed, get the leg over, get the sugar
>>>> stick, get the upshot, get there, get through, get to home plate,
>>>> get to it, get together with, get up the pole, get up the yard, get
>>>> wild, get your bean waxed, get your bone honed, get your bunny
>>>> boiled, get your canoe shellacked, get your end away, get your end
>>>> wet, get your horns filed, get your noodle wet, get your poker wet,
>>>> get your weiner wet, getting a piece, getting bent, getting it on,
>>>> getting laid, getting ones end away, getting plugged, getting run,
>>>> getting skins, getting some skin, getting your end away, getting
>>>> your leg-over, gift of one's body, give a bit of hard for a bit of
>>>> soft, give a bit of snug for a bit of stiff, give a hole to hide
>>>> in, give a shot of leg, give a thrill, give a woman a shot, give
>>>> hard for soft, give her a bit of the other, give her a past, give her a
>>>> length, give her a shot, give her a stab, give her a thrill, give
>>>> her one, give her the time, give him one, give it to someone, give
>>>> juice for jelly, give mutton for beef, give one a bone, give one a
>>>> frigging, give one a jump, give one a past, give one a screwing,
>>>> give one a shot, give one a stab, give one a tumble, give oneself
>>>> to, give pussy a taste of cream, give soft for hard, give some
>>>> body, give someone the business, give someone the shaft, give
>>>> someone the works, give standing room for one only, give someone
>>>> the business, give the dog a bone, give the ferret a run, give the old
>>>> man his
>>>> supper, give up one's treasure, give way, glazing the donut, go all
>>>> the way, go at it, go ballocking, go beard-splitting, go
>>>> bed-pressing, go belly-thumping, go boom-boom, go bum-tickling, go
>>>> bum-working, go bush-ranging, go buttocking, go cock-fighting, go
>>>> cunny-catching, go doddling, go doodling, go drabbling, go
>>>> facemaking, go fleshing it, go for a horizontal jog, go in and out
>>>> like a fiddlers elbow, go in unto, go leather-stretching, go like a
>>>> belt-fed motor, go on bush patrol, go on the loose, go on the
>>>> stitch, go pile-driving, go prick-scouring, go quim-sticking, go
>>>> rumping, go rump-splitting, go stargazing, go the length, go the
>>>> limit, go the whole way, go through, go to bed with, go to
>>>> Hairyfordshire, go to it, go to town, go to work with, go
>>>> tromboning, go tummy tickling, go twat-faking, go up her like a rat
>>>> up a drain, go upstairs, go vaulting, go with, goat's jig, going
>>>> all the way, going and coming, going halvsies on an orgasm, going
>>>> horizontal, gombo, goose, goose and duck, grabbing some snatch,
>>>> grafting, grant favors, grant the favor, grasp and grunt, gratify
>>>> someone's desires, grease the wheel, greasing the pole, grind,
>>>> grind it, grind one's tool, grinding, groan and grunt, ground rations,
>>>> growl and grunt, grumble and grunt, grummet, hailing, halve the
>>>> crack, hammer, hammering, hamming, handy-dandy, hanging at the Y,
>>>> hard-assed love, hard breathing, hava a banana with, have a bang,
>>>> have a beef injection, have a bottom-wetter, have a bit, have a bit
>>>> of bum, have a bit of cock, have a bit of crumpet, have a bit of
>>>> cunt, have a bit of fish, have a bit of fluff, have a bit of fun,
>>>> have a bit of giblet pie, have a bit of gutstick, have a bit of
>>>> jam, have a bit of meat, have a bit of mutton, have a bit of pork,
>>>> have a bit of rough, have a bit of skirt, have a bit of split mutton,
>>>> have
>>>> a bit of stuff, have a bit of sugar stick, have a bit of summer
>>>> cabbage, have a bit of tail, have a bit on the fork, have a blow
>>>> through, have a brush with the cue, have a cuddle, have a cut off
>>>> the joint, have a dash in the bloomers, have a double shot, have a
>>>> fuck, have a good time, have a good time with, have a hot roll with
>>>> cream, have a joy ride, have a jump with, have a knee trembler,
>>>> have a live sausage for supper, have a naughty, have a piece of ass,
>>>> have a piece of tail, have a poke, have a rattle, have a ride, have a
>>>> roll in the hay, have a screw, have a slice off the joint, have a
>>>> shag, have a tumble, have a turn on one's back, have an affair
>>>> with, have carnal knowledge, have carnal knowledge of, have
>>>> coition, have coitus with, have fun, have fun with, have hot
>>>> pudding for supper, have intimate relations with, have it away with,
>>>> have it in, have
>>>> it off, have it off with, have one's banana peeled, have one's cut,
>>>> have one's foul way with, have ones greens, have one's oats, have
>>>> ones way with, have one's will with, have personal relations with,
>>>> have relations, have relations with, have sexhave sex with, have
>>>> sexual relations, have sexual relations with, have someone away,
>>>> have the banana peeled, have union with, having a bit, having it
>>>> off, having sex, he-ing and she-ing, hide the ferret, hide the
>>>> Hooded Hodad, hide the hot dog, hide the sausage, hide the weasel,
>>>> hide the wienie, hit on the fall, hit on the tail, hit skins, hit
>>>> the kitten, hit the sack with, hitting skins, hive it, hobble, hog,
>>>> hole it, hole in one, home base, home run, home plate, hone, honey
>>>> fuck, hook up, hop in the saddle, hop into bed with, hop into the
>>>> horses collar, hop on, hop on a babe, hop on the good foot, hop up
>>>> and down, horizontal bop, horizontal dancing, horizontal exercise,
>>>> horizontal folk-dancing, horizontal jitterbug, horizontal jogging,
>>>> horizontal hula, horizontal mambo, horizontal refreshment,
>>>> horizontal relaxation, horizontal rhumba, horizontal rumble,
>>>> horizontalize, hormone fix, horry, hose, hosing, hot beef
>>>> injection, hot lay, hot meat injection, hot roll with cream, hot
>>>> tailing,
>>>> huddle, hump, humping, hump 'em and dump 'em, humpery, humpin' and
>>>> bumpin', hunk of ass, hunk of butt, huntch, impale, in copulo,
>>>> in-and-in, in-and-out, in-and-out jig, in coitu, in-out, in the
>>>> box, in the hay, in the kip, in the sack, in the saddle, in to the
>>>> hilt,
>>>> intercourse, interior decorating, interior sledging, intimate
>>>> relations, introduce Charlie, Charley, introduce the captain,
>>>> introduce the captain to his pie, intromission, Irish whist,
>>>> irrigate, involved with someone, it's naughty but nice, it takes
>>>> two to tango, jab, jack, Jack Horny, janney, jape, jazz it,
>>>> jazz-fiddle, jeeping, jig, jig-a-jig, jig-jig, jigga-jig,
>>>> jiggady-jig, jiggery pokery, jiggle, jiggling, jiggy-jig,
>>>> jing-jang, jingle-jangle, jobbing, jock, Joe Buck, jog, join giblets,
>>>> join paunches, joining
>>>> faces, jokum cloy, jolly ride, jolt, jottle, jounce, juke, joy
>>>> ride, juggle, jumble, jump bones, jump in the sack, jump someone's
>>>> bones, jump up and down, kick it with, knee trembler, knick-knacking,
>>>> knob
>>>> it, knob-jockery, knobbing, knock, knock boots with, knock it off,
>>>> knock it out, knock off a piece, knocking boots, knocking the
>>>> bottom out, knot with, know, know someone biblically, know someone
>>>> in the Biblical sense, labiate, labor leather, ladles' tailoring,
>>>> lady feast, laid, lame duck, lap clap, laps around the track, last act,
>>>> last favor, last compliment, last liberties, lay down, lay off
>>>> with, lay out, lay pipelay some pipe, lay somebody, lay the hip, lay
>>>> the
>>>> leg, lay the log, lay the track, lay the wood, lay tube, lay your
>>>> cane in a dusty corner, lay with the moon, layed, leap, leap in the
>>>> dark, leg business, leg over, leg sliding, let's Adam-and-Eve it,
>>>> lewd infusion, lib, lie feet uppermost, lie on, lie under, lie
>>>> with, lift one's leg, lift the heels, light the lamp, limit, ling
>>>> grappling, lip work, little game of hide-the-sausage, lob in, lob
>>>> it, lob it up, lock in key, look at the ceiling, loose coat game,
>>>> lose the match and pocket the stakes, love work, lovemaking,
>>>> lovins, low Greek, make a statement in tail, make babies, make faces,
>>>> make
>>>> ends meet, make feet for children's shoes, make feet for children's
>>>> stockings, make it, make it with, make love, make love to, make
>>>> love with, make one grunt, make out, make out with, make
>>>> piggiesmake someone, make the beast with two backs, make the bed
>>>> springs creak,
>>>> make the chimney smoke, make the scene, make whoopee, making a
>>>> deposit, making a dogs match of it, making a hit, making bacon,
>>>> making it, making love, making out, making the beast with two
>>>> backs, making whoopee, manhandle, man-on-top, marital duty, marital
>>>> relations, marital rughts, marriage joys, mash the fat, match ends,
>>>> match with, mate, mating, mate with, matrimonial polka, mattress
>>>> dancing, mattress jig, mattress mambo, mattress marathon, meat
>>>> injection, meddle, mercy fuck, merry bout, mesh, mess around, mess
>>>> around with, mingle with, mish, mix one's peanut butter, moll,
>>>> monkey business, morner, mort douce, mount, mow, muddle, multiply
>>>> and be fruitful, mump, myrtle, mysteries of love, mysteries of
>>>> Venus, naff, naffing, nail, nail two bellies together, naked
>>>> sinnasty, national indoor game, national indoor sport, nature's
>>>> duty, naughties, the, naughty but nice, it's, naval engagement,
>>>> negotiate the forested chasm, nest in the bush, nether work, nick,
>>>> nidge, nig, niggle, niggling, night baseball, night exercises,
>>>> night games, night physic, night work, nip, nob, nobble, nock,
>>>> nodge, nookey, nookey push-push, nooky, nookie, nub, nubbing, nug,
>>>> nugging, number three, nuptial rights, nurtle, oblige, oil change,
>>>> old bald game, old in and out, old in-out, old one two, the, old slap
>>>> and
>>>> tickle, on the job, on the nest, one with the other, open one's
>>>> legs, open up to, open your legs, other, the, parallel parking,
>>>> park the car in her garage, park the pink cadillac, park the porpoise,
>>>> park your yacht in hair harbor, party, peel, peel one's best end,
>>>> penetrate, penisize, penization, penovaginal intercourse, personal
>>>> relations, pestle, phallacise someone, phallactory act, phallate,
>>>> phallating, phallation, phutz, phutzing, piece of flesh, pickle
>>>> tickle, pickle-me-tickle-me, pickleville, piece of tail, pile,
>>>> pile-driving, pin her legs back like a Safeway chicken, pity fuck,
>>>> plank, plant the oats, plaster of warm guts, play at Adam and Eve,
>>>> play at all fours, play at cock in cover, play at fathers and
>>>> mothers, play at in and out, play at itch-buttocks, play at lift
>>>> the leg, play at stallions and mares, play at pickle-me-tickle-me,
>>>> play at tops and bottoms, play at up-tails-all, play at wriggle your
>>>> navels, play belly-to-belly, play bouncy-bouncy, play doctor, play
>>>> hide the bone, play hide the hamster, play hide the salami, play
>>>> hide the sausage, play hide the weenie, play in the hay, play
>>>> mothers and fathers, play mummies and daddies, play night baseball,
>>>> play one's ace, play one's ace of spade and receive the jack, play
>>>> rub-belly, play the first game ever played, play the organ, play
>>>> the national indoor game, play the trombone, play the two-back
>>>> game, play twenty toes, play with, plonk, plough, ploughing, plough the
>>>> back forty, ploughing the furrow, pluck, pluck and trim, plug, plug
>>>> tail, plugging, pluke, plumb her depths, plumbing, pocket the red,
>>>> poke a stroke, poke in the whiskers, a, poke the sushi, poke the
>>>> yoke, poke through the whiskers, poking the fire, poking, poking
>>>> the bearded triangle, poking the pork pole, pole work, poling,
>>>> polish one's ass on the top sheet, pom-pom, poon, poonj, pop,
>>>> pop-a-choppop it in, porking, porking de ho, post a letter, poultice of
>>>> warm
>>>> guts, pound, pound leather, pound the bedsheets, pound the mound,
>>>> pound the pork, practice parallel parking, prang, pray with the knees
>>>> upwards, press the flesh, prick-scouring, prig, prigging,
>>>> prodprong, pudendal intercourse, pudendal pleasures, pudendal
>>>> symphony, pully hawly, pump, pumping, punch, push in the bush is
>>>> worth two in the hand, a, push in the truck, push-push, pushpin, put
>>>> and take, put
>>>> four corners on the spit, put his snake through her grass, put it
>>>> in, put it in and break it, put it into, put it to, put it to her,
>>>> put it out of sight, put the boots to, put the blocks to, put the
>>>> boots, put the devil into hell, put the tool in the shed, putter in
>>>> the hole, putting on the pot, putting Percy to bed, quelch, quiff,
>>>> quiffing, quim-sticking, quim-wedging, quimming, rake out, ram your
>>>> rod, ramming, ranlum scrantum, rantum scantum, rasher, rasp away,
>>>> rattle, reeling in the fish, regular trick, relations, rest and
>>>> recreation, ride rantipole, ride St. George, ride the bologna pony,
>>>> ride the hobby horse, ride the skin bus into Tuna Town, ride the
>>>> spike, ride the wild ponyriding St. George, riding the baloney
>>>> pony, riding the elephant trunk of joy, riding the nag, rifle, ring
>>>> snatching, rip her guts down, rip off, rip off a quick piece, rites
>>>> of love, rites of spring, rites of Venus, roasting the broomstick,
>>>> rock, rock and roll, rock someone's world, rocking chair, rocks
>>>> off, rodding, roger, rogering, roll, roll in the hay, rolling
>>>> about, romp, romping, rope a poke, root, rooting, rootle, roust, rout,
>>>> routing, rub-a-dub, rub bacons, rub bellies, rub groins together,
>>>> rub leather, rub offal, rub up, rubadub, rubbing bacons, rubbing
>>>> uglies, rumble, rumbusticate, rummage, rump work, rump, rumping,
>>>> rump-shaker, rump-splitting, rumple foreskin, rumpo, rumpty-tumpty,
>>>> rumpy-dumpy, rumpy-pumpy, Russian duck, rutting, ryde, sacrifice to
>>>> Venus, sardsaw off a chunk, saw off a piece, scale, score, score
>>>> between the posts, score with, scrapping, screw one's head off,
>>>> screw the arse off, screw the ass off, screwing, scrog, scrump,
>>>> scrumping, scuttle, secret services, see, see a man about a dog,
>>>> see the King, see stars, seeing-to, service, sex act, sex job,
>>>> sexercises, sexlove, sexperience, sexpression, sexual act, sexual
>>>> commerce, sexual communion, sexual concourse, sexual congress,
>>>> sexual conjunction, sexual embrace, sexual intercourse, sexual
>>>> intercoursing, sexual intimacy, sexual knowledge, sexual liaison,
>>>> sexual relations, sexual relief, sexual union, sew up, shafting,
>>>> shag, shag like a rattlesnake, shag your lugs off, shagging, shake,
>>>> shake the sheets, shaking, shaking the sheets, share a bed with,
>>>> share a pillow with, sharpen the pencil, sheath the sword to the
>>>> hilt, sheltering under the pink umbrella, shift-work, shoot between
>>>> wind and water, shoot downstairs, shoot in the bush, shoot in the
>>>> tail, shot at the front door, shove, shoving the beaver with the
>>>> lever, shtoop, shtup, sin, sink the pink, sink the sailor, sink the
>>>> sausage, sink the soldier, sink the sub, sinking the battleship,
>>>> sinking the pork sword, sinking the sausage, sinking the sub,
>>>> skeeze, skewer, skin the cat, skin the live rabbit, skin the
>>>> pizzle, sklook, skroging, slam, slam her clam, slam some ham, slam
>>>> spunk, slamming, slap skins, slap and tickle, slap 'n tickle,
>>>> slapping skins, sleep together, sleep with, slice of damp, slice the
>>>> legs
>>>> off, slice her, the muffin, slip a length, slip her a length, slip
>>>> her a hot beef injection, slip her a quick crippler, slip her a
>>>> tube steak, slip her one, slip her the whale, slip in, slip into,
>>>> slip it to, slip it to her, slip one a hot beef injection, slip-sliding
>>>> away, slip someone a length, slippin' and slidin', slither, smeg,
>>>> smock service, smoke, smockage, smucking, snag, snake boogie, snib,
>>>> snizzling, snug, socialize, soul roll, spear the bearded clam,
>>>> spend the night with, spit, splat your fat, split, split a kipper,
>>>> splitting the hamster, sport of the masses, sport of Venus, spot of
>>>> heavy breathing, a, spot of hard breathing, a, spread for someone,
>>>> spread your legs, spreading the folds, spreading the mayo, spunk
>>>> dump, square someone's circle, squashing the meat, squat jump in
>>>> the cucumber patch, squatting on the hog, squeeze and a squirt, a,
>>>> stab, stab in the thigh, stable my naggle, stable one's naggle,
>>>> stand a push, stick it in, sticking it in and pulling it out, straight
>>>> lay,
>>>> strap, strapping, stretch leather, strip one's tarse, strop one's
>>>> beak, strum, stub your chub, study astronomy, stuff, stuff her
>>>> muff, stuff her the bunny, stuffing, subagitate, subagitation,
>>>> sweep out the chimney, sweet agony, sweet death, swinge, swinging the
>>>> ax,
>>>> switchel, swive, swyve, tail one's guts out, tail-job,
>>>> tail-tickling, tail wagging, tail work, take a roll with, take a
>>>> trip around the parsley patch, take a turn in Bushy Park, take a
>>>> turn in Cock Alley, take a turn in the bush, take a turn in the
>>>> hair court, take a turn in the hay, take a turn in the stubble,
>>>> take a turn on Love Lane, take a turn on Shooters Hill, take a turn on
>>>> the
>>>> aphrodisiacal tennis court, take a turn on Mount Pleasant, take a
>>>> turn through the stubble, take in and do for, take in beef, take in
>>>> cream, take it in, take it out in trade, take Nebuchadnezzar out to
>>>> grass, take someone, take someone to bed, take the starch out of
>>>> somone, take to bed, taking a ride, taking an albino piss, taking
>>>> her temperature with a meat thermometer, taking old one-eye to the
>>>> optometrist, taking the old skin boat to tuna town, talk, tame her
>>>> shrew, tap, tap your tailpipe, target practice, tear off a piece of
>>>> tail, tear the sheets, tender agony, test the mattress, tether
>>>> one's nag, thread, thread the needle, thrill and chill, throw,
>>>> throw a boff into, throw a bop into, throw a fuck into, throw a hump,
>>>> throw
>>>> a leg over, throw a screw into, throw one a hump, throw one's
>>>> dagger, throwing the pork, thrum, thrust, thump, tick-tack, tickle,
>>>> tickling the fancy, tie the lover's knot, tie the true lover's
>>>> knot, tiffing, tillage, tilting, tip, tip the long one, tonk, tool
>>>> it, tooling, tooling in the woods, tootsie roll, tops and bottoms,
>>>> toss in the hay, trimtrim the buff, trip down the mine shaft, trip up
>>>> the Rhine, trolley and truck, tromboning, trot out one's pussy,
>>>> trounce, trouser serpent in the grass, try it for size, try it on
>>>> for size, tube steak boogie, tumble, tummy-tickling, tup, turn, turn up
>>>> one's
>>>> tail, twang, twat raking, twatting, twiddle, twist a leg,
>>>> two-backed beast, two-handed put, Ugandan affairs, Ugandan
>>>> discussions, ugly, the, ugly deed, the, ultimate favor, the, union,
>>>> unite, unite
>>>> oneself with, unspoken language of love, up her way, up in you,
>>>> up-tails-all, up to your apricots in kipperland, up to the bumper,
>>>> up to the hilt, up to your nuts in guts, upright, upright grand,
>>>> ups and downs, vaginal intercourse, vaginate, vagination,
>>>> vagino-phallic interaction, venereal act, Venerean mirth, venery,
>>>> venture, wallow, wap, warm one's bed, western laywet bottom, wet one's
>>>> wick, wet the
>>>> worm, wetting the willy, whack it up, whale some babe, what Eve did
>>>> with Adam, what mother did before me, whitewash, whitewash your
>>>> guts, wild ride on the baloney pony, wienering, wiggle, wind up the
>>>> clock, wingding, womanize, work the dumb oracle, work the hairy
>>>> oracle, work up, wriggle navels, yentz, yield one's favors,
>>>> you-know-what, yum-yum, zig-zig, zinzanbruck, COCK!, abominable
>>>> pants worm, Abraham, accordion, accoutrements, ace, ace poker,
>>>> acorn, acorns, acucullus, adamantine organon, Adams arsenal, Adam's
>>>> dagger, Adam's whip, affair, agate, all-beef sausage, all forlorn,
>>>> allsbay, almond, almond rock, almond rock candy, amblyopic organ,
>>>> angle, animated ivory, anteater, apparatus, apparatus urogenitalis,
>>>> appendage, appropriate member, apricots, arbor vitae, arm of love,
>>>> armored division, arrow, arse-opener, arse worm, arse-wedge, arser,
>>>> artillerie de Cupidon, artillerie de Venus, ass-opener, ass-wedge,
>>>> auger, auxiliaries, baby, baby beef, baby-grinder, baby-makers,
>>>> babys arm, baby's forarm, Bacchus march, back wheels, bacon, bacon
>>>> bazooka, badger, bag-filler, bag of fruits, bag of tricks, bagadga,
>>>> baggage, baggette, bagpipes, bags, bald eagle, bald-headed
>>>> candidate, bald-headed hermit, bald-headed mouse, bald-headed rat,
>>>> bald man, ball bag, ball sack, Balkans, Ballarat, ball basket,
>>>> ballock bag, balls and bat, baloney pony, bamboo stick, banana
>>>> skin, band-member, banger, bangles, banjo string, bannocks, bar,
>>>> bar on, barge pole, basket, basketful of meat, bat and balls, baton,
>>>> battering piece, battering ram, battlefat, bauble, baubles,
>>>> bawbles, baz, bazooka, bazooka shooter, BD drill, beak, bean, bean
>>>> pods, bean pole, bean-shooter, bean-tosser, beard-splitter,
>>>> beating tool, beaver cleaver, beaver lever, bed flute, beef bayo with
>>>> extra mayo,
>>>> beef bayonet, beef jerky, beef stick, beef whistle, beer can, bell,
>>>> bell-end, bell-rope, bell-swagged, belly bristles, belly thicket,
>>>> belly-whiskers, belongings, below the navel, belt buster, bent
>>>> dick, bent stick, berries, best friend, best leg of three, best
>>>> part, Bethlehem Steel, bicho, big bamboo, big Ben, big bird, big
>>>> bite, big brother, big daddy, big dipper, big fella, Big Foot Joe,
>>>> big head, big hunk of meat, Big Jim and the twins, big one, big piece
>>>> of
>>>> meat, big red, big wand, bilbo, billiards, billy, billy and doo, billy
>>>> club, bingey, biological reaction, biological response, bird's
>>>> eggs, bishop's miter, bit of hard, biteful, bits, black limo, black
>>>> pencil, black snake, blackjack, blanket stiff, blind, blind as a
>>>> boiled turnip, Blind Bob, blind buckler, blind meat, blind piece,
>>>> blinds, blood-breaker, blow pop, blow stick, blowtorch, bludgeon,
>>>> blue steeler, blue thimble, blue vein, blue-veined custard chucker,
>>>> blue-veined junket pumper, blue-veined hooligan, blue-veined
>>>> piccolo, blue-veined steak, blue-veined throbber, blue-veined
>>>> trumpet, blue veiner, blunt end, bobblers, bobbles, bobby-dangler,
>>>> bobbys anorak, bobby's helmet, bobstay, bobtail, bodkin, body's
>>>> captain, bogga, bomhead, bonbons, bone in the leg, bone phone,
>>>> boneless appendage of the male, boneless fish, boneless stiff,
>>>> boneroni, bonfire, bonk-on, booboos, boss and his two helpers,
>>>> botuliform genital pendant of the male, bow, bowsprit, boy toy,
>>>> bozack, branch, brat-getter, broom handle, bristle up, Brown Joe,
>>>> bruiser, brush, bubbly jack, bubbly jock, bubus, bucking bronco,
>>>> Buckinger's boot, buddy, buffing stick, bug-fucker, bugle, bulge,
>>>> bullets, bullish, bulp, bum balls, bun puncher, bun spreader, bung,
>>>> burrito, bush whacker, business, butt basher, butt smasher,
>>>> butterfinger, button buster, button mushroom, button-short,
>>>> buttonhole worker, BVH, cafe curtains, camel complaint, Canadian
>>>> bacon, canary, candy, candy cane, candy stick, cannon, captain,
>>>> Captain Hard, Captain Hightop the Love Commander, Captain Hogseye,
>>>> Captain One-Eye, Captain Picard, Captain Standish, carnal member,
>>>> carnal part, carnal parts, carry a big stick, cartes, carts,
>>>> cartso, cartzo, catso, catzo, Casey, cavalier, cavity probe,
>>>> change purse, chanticleer, charger, Charles the Bald, charleys,
>>>> chaud, cheesy bell-end, cheesy bunnet, cheesy wheelbarrow, cherry
>>>> birch, cherry picker, cherry splitter, chicken mc nuggets, chicken
>>>> neck, chibi, chimney-stopper, chingus, choad, chode, choker,
>>>> chones, chooza, chopped cock, chopper, Chris Hardwick, Christ and two
>>>> apostles,
>>>> Christmas crakers, christener, chub, chubby, chuckies, chull, chum,
>>>> chunky monkey, chutney ferret, cinnamon stick, clappers, clava,
>>>> cleat, clipped dick, cluster, cobbs, cobs, cobblers, cobbler's
>>>> awls, cobbler's stall, cobra, cock of death, cock-on, cock-stand,
>>>> cockaroony, cocked, cocked gun, cockhead, cockknuckle, cockles,
>>>> cockoroony, cockroach, cockstand, cocktus erectus, cocky, coconuts,
>>>> cod, codpiece, cods, coffee stalls, cold meat, cold pig, Colleen
>>>> Bawn, come factories, command module, Compass of the Netherland,
>>>> concern, concrete donkey, conkers, cookies, coolies, copper stick,
>>>> coral branch, corker, corn beef cudgel, corpuscle, Corsican, cory,
>>>> coupling bat, crab ladder, crack a fat, crack hunter, crackerjacks,
>>>> cracking tool, crank, crankshaft, cream crackers, cream-stick,
>>>> credentials, cremorne, crimson chitterling, crimson crowbar, crotch
>>>> cartilage, crotch cobra, crotch rocket, crowbar, crowd pleaser,
>>>> crown jewels, crumpet-trumpet, cuckoo, cucumber, cullions, culls,
>>>> culty-gun, cum factories, cum slinger, cunny-catcher, cunt-stabber,
>>>> cunt-stand, cunt-sticker, cunt-stirrer, cunt-stretcher, Cupid's
>>>> torch, curls, curlies, curly hairs, curtains, custard-chucker, cut
>>>> out to be a gentleman, cut out to be a man, cutlass, cuts, Cyclops,
>>>> daddy longdick, daddy bag, daddy mack, damsons, dangle,
>>>> dangle-dong, dangler, dangling participles, dart of love, dawn
>>>> horn, dead lizard, dead meat, dead rabbit, dead soldier, dead
>>>> stick, dead worm, deadwood, dear morsel, delight of women, derrick,
>>>> devil, diamond
>>>> cutter, diamonds, dick butkiss, dick-tator, dick up, dick wheat,
>>>> dickery-dock, Dickie, Dicky, Dickie and the boys, dickory dock,
>>>> diddly-whacker, digitis erectus, dill, dilly-whacker, dimple-dick,
>>>> ding, ding-a-ling, ding-dangs, ding-dongs, dingbat, dingbats,
>>>> dinghy, dingle, dingo, dingy, dink, dinosaur, dirk, divining rod,
>>>> do-dads, do-funny, do-hickies, do-jigger, do-johnny, dobber, Doctor
>>>> Cocker, Doctor Johnson, dodads, dofunny, dohickey, dohickie,
>>>> dohickeys, dohickies, dohinger, dojigger, dojiggers, dojohnnie,
>>>> dolphin, donaker, dong and gongs, donger, donkey, donkey dick,
>>>> donkey-dicked, donkey-rigged, donkified, donniker, donut holder,
>>>> doodad, doodads, doodle-flap, doohicky, doover, doowhackey, dopper,
>>>> down below, down-led, down there, drain pipe, draped, drapes,
>>>> dribble-cock, driving post, drooper, drooping member, dropping
>>>> member, droopy, drumstick, ducky-bird, dust cover for the cunt,
>>>> dusters, dydus, eager pleaser, eggs in the basket, eggwhite cannon,
>>>> ejac vac, eleventh finger, Elmer Pudd, enemy, engine, engine of
>>>> love, English sentry, enob, equipment, erected spermapositor,
>>>> erectile urogenital appendage, erectio penis, erectivation, Eric
>>>> Shun, essentials, everlasting gobstopper, extra digit, extra skin,
>>>> eye dropper, eye-hole, eye-opener, eye of the Bishop, fags
>>>> toothbrush, faggots toothbrush, family organ, fancy work, fanny
>>>> ferret, Fat Frank, fat one, fat peter, father-of-all, fiddlestick,
>>>> fiddling stick, figs, finger puppet, firm worm, first leg of three,
>>>> fish stick, fixed bayonet, flack, flag, flagpole, flapdoodle, flesh
>>>> pencil, flip-flap, flounder, flowers and frolics, foaming beef
>>>> probe, foot long, forbidden zone, fornicating engine, fornicating
>>>> member, fornicating tool, fornicator, fountain pen, Fred, frick,
>>>> frick and frack, frigamajig, front porch, fruit for the monkey,
>>>> fuck-meat, fuck muscle, fuck pole, fuck-rod, fuck-stick, fucking
>>>> stick, fucking tool, fuckstick, fud packer, fun and frolics, fun
>>>> bone, fun-stick, fun-zone, funk-stick, funmaker, gadgets, gadso,
>>>> gap-stopper, gargantuan organum virile, gator, gaying instrument,
>>>> gear, gear and tool, gearbox, gearstick, gearstick d'amour, General
>>>> smuts, generating tool, generation tool, generative organ, genital
>>>> coupler, genital forefoot, genital pound of flesh, genital reamer,
>>>> genital staff, genital shaft, genital tentacle, genitalia, gentle
>>>> fist, gentle tittler, gentleman, gentleman's appendage, German
>>>> helmet, get a stand, gherkin, gifted, giggling pin, gingambobs,
>>>> girl catcher, girlometer, globes, glory pole, glow rod, glow stick,
>>>> gnarled root of love, goat, goatees, goatskin, gobstopper, Gods
>>>> revenge on a woman, golden rivet, gonads, gones, goober, good foot,
>>>> good parts, good time prison use, gooseberries, goose's neck, goot,
>>>> gooter, gorilla salad, goy toy, grand bag, gravy-giver,
>>>> gravy-maker, grew proud below the navel, grinding tool,
>>>> gristle-stick, groceries, groin, guided missile, gully-raker,
>>>> gutstick, hacker, hair divider, hairless wonder, hairy banana,
>>>> hairy conkers, hairy saddlebags, hairy sausage, half a cob, ham and two
>>>> eggs, ham howitzer, Hamilton
>>>> Wick, Hampton Wick, hand made, hand reared, handstaff, handle,
>>>> hang-down, hangers, happy sack, hard, hard-bit, hard head, hard
>>>> salami, hard-up, hardened spermapositor, Hardhat Harry, hardware,
>>>> harpoon, hat rack, have a bone, have a bone-on, have a boner, have
>>>> a hard-on, have a horn, have a rod-on, having it on, he-thing,
>>>> heat in the meat, heat seeking missile, heat seeking moisture missile,
>>>> heirlooms, helmet, helmet pelmet, Henry Halls, Herman the One-eyed
>>>> German, hermit, hickey, hidden treasure, hidden tumor, higgumbobs,
>>>> His Majesty in purple cap, hissing Sid, ho-handle, hock, hodge dog,
>>>> hoe-handle, hogger, hole puncher, holiday money, holy poker, holy
>>>> pole, honker, honorable prick, hopping bug, horn, the, horn-colic,
>>>> hornification, horse's handbrake, horsemeat, hot dog, hot member,
>>>> hot rod, hotchee, huevos, hugen, human enema, humpmobile, hung,
>>>> hung like a bull, hung like a dinosaur, hung like a horse, hung
>>>> like a rabbit, hung like a stallion, hunk of meat, husbandman of
>>>> nature, ice cream machine, ID, idol, in full fig, in full orchestra, in
>>>> one's Sunday best, in one's Sunday clothes, inch, inch instrument,
>>>> instrument, instrumentum erectum, interstitial glands, intimate
>>>> bits, intimate parts, intromittent organ, Irish horse, Irish rise,
>>>> Irish root, Irish toothache, Irish toothpick, Jack-in-the-box, Jack
>>>> in a box, jackalope, jakey, jackhammer, Jackson Pollocks, jacktool,
>>>> jammy, jang, jap's eye, jawbreaker, jenny, jean tent, jelly bag,
>>>> jellyroll, Jenny Tull, Jews lance, jewel box, jewelry, jewelry
>>>> showcase., Jewish compliment, Jewish corned beef, Jewish national,
>>>> Jewish nightcap, jezebel, jig-jag, jig-jigger, jigging bone, jiggle
>>>> bone, jiggling bone, jiggumbobs, Jim Dog, Jimbo, jimbrowsky, jimmy,
>>>> jingleberries, jizzbags, jizz jemmy, jockum, John Tom, John Thomas,
>>>> John Thursday, John Willie, Johnny Come lately, Johnny Rollicks,
>>>> Johnny Rollocks, Jolly Red Giant, jolly member, jolly roger, jolly
>>>> stick, joyknob, joystick, Julius Caesar, jumbucks, jungle meat,
>>>> jungleberries, junior, kaks, kazoo, kelks, Ken Dodds, key to
>>>> heaven, kickapoo, kielbasa, King King Dong, king-member, king's
>>>> iron, kit, knackers, knacks, knick-knacks, knitting needle,
>>>> knob-ache, knob sack, knobster, kosher dill, kosher meat, kosher
>>>> pickle, knot,
>>>> lace, lace curtains, lad, the, ladies' plaything, lady-ware, lamp
>>>> of life, lance in rest, lance of love, langer, lanoola, large
>>>> cock, Lazarus, lead in your pencil, leather cigar, leather dresser,
>>>> leather
>>>> stretcher, lever, libido bandido, licorice stick, lift-up,
>>>> limp-dick, limp-prick, limbless erast, lingam, lipstick, lithoid
>>>> phallus, little acorns, Little Buddy, Little Buddys buddies, Little
>>>> Dickie, little dipper, Little Elvis, little engine, little finger,
>>>> little friend, little head, little man, Little Peter, little
>>>> pinkie, little sliver of flesh, Little Willy, live wire, load,
>>>> loaded gun, lob cock, lob prick, log, loins, lollypop, long dong, Long
>>>> Dong
>>>> Silver, long pole, long pork, long trade, longfellow, longhorn, lop
>>>> cock, louisville slugger, love apples, love bone, love handle, love
>>>> length, love machine, love meat, love nuts, love pump, love-rod,
>>>> love sausage, love scepter, love spuds, love stick, love tool, love
>>>> torpedo, love trumpet, love truncheon, love-wand, loves battering
>>>> ram, loves dribbling dart, loves engine, love pick-lock, loves
>>>> sensitive truncheon, low-hangers, low neck, lower male proboscis,
>>>> luggage, lunchbox, lust bone, lust shaft, lust sword, machine of
>>>> love, machinery, nuts and bolts, maggot, magnum, main vein, Majesty
>>>> in Purple Cap, His, Major Woody, male begetting organ, male
>>>> cleaver, male genital appendage, male genital cleaver, male
>>>> genital club, male genital dispenser, male genital probe, male genital
>>>> organ,
>>>> male genital teat, male gladiolus, male interfemoral infidel, male
>>>> intruder, male knout, male member, male membrum erectum, male
>>>> monolith, male netherlands, male organ, male organ of generation,
>>>> male organ of reproduction, male organs of generation, male organs
>>>> of reproduction, male organon, male pendant, male poker, male
>>>> pouch, male pound of flesh, male pudendal trifler, male pudendum,
>>>> male reproductive organs, male satisfier, male sexual organ, male
>>>> sexual organon, male sinker, male urogenitial horn, maleness,
>>>> mallet, man, man-meat, man mountain, man root, man steel, man's
>>>> best leg of three, man's privaties, man's third leg, manbone, manhood,
>>>> manliness, manmeat, marabon stork, maritudinal erection, marble
>>>> halls, Marquess of Lorne, Marquis de Lorne, Marquis of Lorne,
>>>> marriage gear, marrons, marrow-bone, masculine part, master member,
>>>> master tool, masterpiece, material part, mating meat, mating tool,
>>>> matrimonial peacemaker, Max Walls, maypole, means of generation,
>>>> meat and two potatoes, meat and two veg, meat and two vegetables,
>>>> meat axe, meat case, meat cleaver, meat dagger, meat flute, meat
>>>> for the butcher, meat for the famished and the starving, meat for the
>>>> poor, meat for the needy, meat puppet, meat-seeking pissile, meatus
>>>> longus, meaty bites, meggs, Member for Cockshire, membrum virile,
>>>> membrum virile erectum, membrum virile flaccidum, mentula, Mickey,
>>>> middle finger, middle stump, mighty meat, milk bone,
>>>> millimeter-peter, missile, missile of Venus launched, Mister Happy,
>>>> Mister Fuzzy, Mister Poky, Mister Softy, Mister Wiggly, modigger,
>>>> moisture missile, mole, mommy-daddy button, monkey, morning
>>>> hard-on, morning pride, morning wood, most precious parts, moving
>>>> parts, Mr. Big, Mr. Bluevein, Mr. Friendly, Mr. Priapus, Mr. Wong, muff
>>>> missile, muscle of love, mushroom tip, mutinous rogue, mutton,
>>>> mutton bayonet, mutton gun, mutton musket, Nebuchadnezzar, nackers,
>>>> nadgers, nad bag, nad sack, nads, nags, nameless thing, nasty bits,
>>>> natural member, natural parts, natural places, naturals, nature's
>>>> scythe, naughty bits, naughty toy, nearsighted, necessaries,
>>>> needle-dick, nervous cane, nether parts, nether proboscis, nether
>>>> regions, Niagara Falls, night stick, nightcrawler, nick-nacks, nine
>>>> iron, nob, nobby halls, nothin cock, nubbin, nudger, nuggets,
>>>> nutmegs, nutrageous, nuts and bolts, nutty buddy, oak tree, oblisk,
>>>> okra and prunes, Old Adam, old baldy, Old Damocles, old faceful,
>>>> Old Faithful, Old Faithless, old goat-peter, Old Hornington, Old
>>>> Horny, old one-eye, Old Slimy, old warty cod, Omar the tentmaker, on
>>>> the
>>>> bonk, on the honk, on the stand, one-eyed, one-eyed Bob, one-eyed
>>>> brother, one-eyed demon, one-eyed monk, one-eyed monster, one-eyed
>>>> pants mouse, one-eyed snake, one-eyed trouser snake, one eyed
>>>> whale, one-eyed wonder worm, one-eyed worm, one-eyed zipper snake,
>>>> one's person, onion skin, orbs, orchestra stalls, orchids, organ,
>>>> organ of reproduction, organs of generation, organum virile,
>>>> organum virile durum, organum virile erectum, ornaments, oscar,
>>>> Oscar Meyer, P-maker, package, pan handle, pantilever, pants
>>>> philistine, pants
>>>> python, pants worm, parts below, passion pole, Pat and Mick, pax
>>>> wax, peacemaker, pebbles, pecker wood, pecnoster, peculator pecker,
>>>> peculiar members, Pedro, pee-dee, peenie, peep, pee-pee, peepee
>>>> hole, peeper, peewee, peezel, peg, pego, penal dick, pencil and
>>>> tassel, pencil dick, penicillus, penie, penile erection, penis
>>>> glans, penis immensus, penis in erectus, peppermint stick, Percy,
>>>> pet snake, phallating club, phallating stick, phallic decorum,
>>>> phallic erection, phallic pendant, phallic cleraver, phallic
>>>> pencil, phallic prod, phallic quencher, phallic scratcher,
>>>> phallus, phallus adamantus, phallus erectus, phallus induratus,
>>>> phallus rigidus, pickle, picnic lunch, piddler, piece of meat, pike,
>>>> piledriver,
>>>> pilgrims staff, pillcock, pillicock, pillock, pills, pichita de
>>>> oro, pimple-prick, pinga, pink bus, pink cadillac, pink oboe, pink
>>>> torpedo, pinkler, pintle, pioneer of nature, pipe outside, piss
>>>> fat, piss handle, piss hard-on, piss-pipe, piss proud, pissworm,
>>>> piston, piston rod, pitch a tent, pitching a tent in one's shorts,
>>>> pixie stick, pizzle, pizzler, placket-racket, plaything, plonker,
>>>> plug-tail, plunger, pocket fisherman, pogo-stick, point,
>>>> Polyphemus, pood, poontanger, pooper, poperine pear, popsicle,
>>>> popsicle stick, popular body parts, popular parts of your anatomy,
>>>> pork dagger, pork enema, porridge gun, portable pocket rocket,
>>>> potato finger, potent regiment, pouch, poud, prack, prairie
>>>> oysters, prepuce, priapus, prick-pride, prick-proud, prick-stand,
>>>> prickle, pride and joy, pride-of-the-morning, prides, princock,
>>>> prigpas, Prince Everhard of the Netherlands, Principal Skinner, private
>>>> parts, private
>>>> property, privates, privities, privy limb, privy limbs, privy
>>>> members, privy parts, prod, pronger, proud below the navel, proud
>>>> inclination of the flesh, prunes, pubes, pubickers, pudendal intruder,
>>>> pudendal
>>>> trifler, pudendus, pump action mottgun, punisher, the, puny prick,
>>>> puppy, purple-headed avenger, purple-headed custard chucker,
>>>> purple-headed meat puppet, purple-headed love truncheon,
>>>> purple-headed monster, purple-headed warrior, purple helmeted
>>>> yogurt thrower, purple lollipop, purple-throbber, purple-veined
>>>> tonsil-tickler, purse, pus-rod, pussy diver, pussy feeder, pussy
>>>> fodder, pussy-fucker, pussy pleaser, pussy plunger, pussy-poker,
>>>> pussy-sticker, putter, pylon, python, quiff-splitter, quim-stake,
>>>> quim-stick, quim-wedge, rabbit, radish, raisin bag, raise a gallop,
>>>> ram charger, rammer, ranger, rat, real piece, Rector of the
>>>> Females, red cap, red hot poker, red lobster, redcap, reproductive
>>>> organs,
>>>> Richard, rig, rigid digit, rise, rise in the Levis, roaring horn,
>>>> roaring jack, rock formation, rock python, Rodney, rodger, Roger
>>>> the Lodger, rollocks, rollies, roly-poly, rooster, rosy red
>>>> reproductive rod, roto-rooter, roundhead, royal jewels, rubigo,
>>>> rude bits, rude parts, ruffian, rule of three, rump-splitter,
>>>> sack, sack o' nuts, salty dog, salty yogurt slinger, Sandra Bullocks,
>>>> scalloped
>>>> potatoes, schmekel, schmeegle, schmock, schnitzel, schwantz,
>>>> schwing, scope, scorz, screwdriver, scrot, scrot sack, scrote,
>>>> scurvy end, seals, secret parts, secret works, secrets, semen
>>>> shooter, Senator Packwood, sensitive plant, sensitive truncheon,
>>>> serpent, sex bone, sex glands, sex meat, sex organ of the male, sex
>>>> stalk, sexocet missile, shaft of Cupid, shaft of delight, sheath,
>>>> shit stabber, shit stick, shlong, shmendrik, shmok, shmuck,
>>>> shooting iron, shooting stick, short and curlies, short hairs,
>>>> short leg, shove-straight, shrimp, shriveller, shtick, silky
>>>> appendage, silver penny, sinbad, skinclad tube, skinned, slabs,
>>>> sleeping bag, sleeping beauty, slug, slurpee, small arm, small
>>>> person, smeat, snatch pointer, snorker, snotty, solicitor general, the,
>>>> southern
>>>> hemisphere, spear, spermapositor, sperm sack, spike, spiked
>>>> phallus, spitfire, spitter, spitting cobra, split-mutton, spooge
>>>> gun, sporran, sporting some wood, spunk factories, Spunky, spurm gun,
>>>> stable, stacked, stag, stalk, stand, stand-on, standard, standing,
>>>> standing member, stanley the power drill, star-gazer, steel beam,
>>>> steely dan, stemmer, stick and bangers, sticker, stickshift, sticky
>>>> finger, sticky spud gun, stiff-and-stout, stiff deity, stiff-on,
>>>> stiff one, stiff peter, stiff stander, stiffy, stinger, stocking
>>>> stuffer, stonk, stonk-on, stonker, stork, Stormy Dick, stout
>>>> warrior, stretcher, string and nuggets, stud, stud meat, stuffy,
>>>> Sunday best, Sunday clothes, superdick, swack, swanska, sweet meat,
>>>> sweets, swelling, swizzle stick, tackle, tadge, tadger, tadpole
>>>> carrier, tail high, tail-line, tail pike, tail tackle, tallywag,
>>>> tallywags, tallywagger, tallywhacker, tan-trousered snake,
>>>> tannhauser, tarn wags, tarrywags, tarse, tarzoon, taters, tatties,
>>>> teapot, teenie-weenie, temporary priapism, tenant-in-tail, tender
>>>> tumour, 10-Pounder, tent, tent peg, tent po le, terror of virgins,
>>>> testes, testicular sac, testimonials, testosities, Texan, Texas
>>>> longhorn, thing-a-ling, thingamabobs, thingie, thingamajigs,
>>>> thingmajigs, thingamaling, thingumbobs, thingummies, thingummy,
>>>> thingy, Thomas, thorn in the flesh, three card trick, three-inch
>>>> fool, three-piece set, three-piece suit, throb knob, throbbing
>>>> member, throbbing muscle of pure love, throbbing python of love,
>>>> thumb, thumb of love, thumper, tickle faggot, tickle-tail,
>>>> tickle-toby, tiddelly pod, tiki-tiki, tilt on one's kilt,
>>>> tired-rabbit, tit-bit, tittle-bat, todger, tom-tom, Tom Doolies,
>>>> Tom Thumb, Tommy, Tommy Rollicks, Tommy Rollocks, tonsil wrench,
>>>> toobsnake, toobsteak, tool bag, tool of pleasure, toothache, toot
>>>> meat, tosh, tossergash, touch-on, touch-trap, towel rack, trap
>>>> stick, tree of life, tree of love, tref, Tricky Dicky, trifle,
>>>> trigger, trombone, trouser ferret, trouser mauser, trouser tent,
>>>> trouser trick, trouser trout, trouser trumpet, trouser truncheon,
>>>> trouser worm, trumpet, truncheon, trypan, tube of meat, tube-steak,
>>>> tug muscle, tumefied phallus, tumescent, tummy banana,
>>>> tummy-tickler, turgid bayonet, turkey baster, turkey neck, turned
>>>> on, turnip, turtleneck sweater, twanger, tweeterfrank,
>>>> twiddle-diddler, twiddle-diddles, twig, twig and berries, twins,
>>>> the, two dots and a dash, ugly little dog Dick, uncle, Uncle Jim
>>>> and the twins at attention, undercarriage, under par, underpant eel,
>>>> underparts, unemployed, unit, unmentionables, unruly member,
>>>> unsliced bologna, up a bone, up-pointed male spike, upscope, Urals,
>>>> The, urinary petcock, urogenital tailpiece, useless, vaginal
>>>> dilator, vegetable stick, vein laden meatpipe, veiny bang stick,
>>>> veiny salami, velvet orbs, Venetian blinds, verge, VIP, virgins
>>>> dream, virile member, virile reflex, virilia, vitals, vomer,
>>>> voorsch, wab, wag, wake up with Jake up, walking tripod, wammer,
>>>> wang bone, wang-tang, wangdoodle, wanger, wank stick, wank tanks,
>>>> wanker, wankrod, wares, watch and seals, water engine, water
>>>> pistol, water spout, water worker, water works, waterworks,
>>>> wazzock, wear a turtleneck sweater, wear it up in curls, wear it
>>>> up in pins, wedding kit, wedding tackle, wedge bone, wee, wee-man,
>>>> wee-wee, weener, weiner, weinie, well-endowed, well-equipped,
>>>> well-furnished,
>>>> well-hung, well-knobbed, well-loaded, welt, Wentworth Falls, wet
>>>> noodle, wet spaghetti, whalebone, whammer, whang, whang bone,
>>>> whangdoodle, whanger, whatchamacallit, whatsis, whatsit, whatsus,
>>>> whatzis, wheezer, whip whistle, whirlygigs, whisker splitter,
>>>> whisky dick, whistle, white owl, whoopie stick, whopper, Wicked
>>>> Willie, wiener, wienie, wife's best friend, wigga-wagga, wild rogue,
>>>> Wilde
>>>> Oscar, willy, willy the burping worm, wimpy dick, wingdoodle,
>>>> winkie, winkie wankie woo, winkle, winky, winky bag, winny-popper,
>>>> wishbone, wistle, witnesses to ones virility, wobbly bits, women
>>>> pleaser, womb broom, womb bruiser, womb brush, womb cannon, womb
>>>> ferret, won ton, wong, wonk, wonger, wood, Woodrow, woody, Woody
>>>> Johnson, woofer, wooter, wop, worm with a nazi helmet, wriggling
>>>> pole, wriggling stick, wrinkled dick, wuf, wurst, yack, yang fella,
>>>> yarbles, yardage, yards of personality, Yasser, Yasser Crackafat,
>>>> ying-yang, yongles, yoyo, yummies, yutz, zack, zab, zap,
>>>> zipperfish, zoob, zoobrick, zubb, zucchini, TITS!, 44s, air bags,
>>>> ample-bodied, amply endowed, apple dumplings, apple-dumpling shop,
>>>> appurtenances, assets, atom bombs, attitudes, babaloos, babooms,
>>>> baby bar, the, baby bumpars, baby pillows, babys dinners, babys public
>>>> house, bags
>>>> of mystery, bajongas, balcony, ballasts, baloobas, bamboochas,
>>>> baps, barbettes, barges, basket of goodies, bawangos, bazongas,
>>>> bazongies, bazonkers, bazookas, bazoomas, bazoombas, bazoomy,
>>>> bazoongies, bazumbas, B-cups, bean bags, beausom, beauties, beauts, bee
>>>> bites,
>>>> bee stings, beef bags, begonias, bejonkers, bell peppers, bellys,
>>>> berks, berkleys, berthas, bezongas, BSHs, bibble chunks, big brown
>>>> eyes, big browneys, big chester, bikini fillers, bikini stuffers,
>>>> bings, blaaters, blamps, blinders, blossoms, blubber bags,
>>>> blubbers, bobbers, Bobsey Twins, bodacious tatas, boobs, boobies,
>>>> boobifers, boobulars, boobiferous, boobys, boom booms, boosiasms,
>>>> boosies, boovies, borsties, bosiasms, bosoms, bottles, boulders,
>>>> bouncers,
>>>> bra-busters, brace and bits, Brad Pitts, brassiere food, bread
>>>> bags, breastage, breasties, breastworks, briskets, Bristol bits,
>>>> Bristol City, Cities, bristols, British Standard Handfuls, Brummagem
>>>> buttons, bubatoes, bubbied, bubbies, bubby circus, bubs, buckets,
>>>> buddings, buds, buds of beauty, buffers, bumpers, bumpies, bumps,
>>>> bumpy jumpers, bunnies, burgeoning bunnies, bushel bubby, busters,
>>>> busts, busty, butterbags, buttons, buxom, buzwams, cabmans rests,
>>>> cadabies, Café la Mama, cajooblies, cakes, cans, cantaloupes, carry
>>>> a bundle, casabas, cats and kitties, cat heads, c-cups, chalubbies,
>>>> charmers, charms, chebs, chee-chees, cherry-topped sundaes,
>>>> cherrylets, chest, chest and bedding, chest bunnies, chest flesh,
>>>> chest pillows, chest puppies, chesty, chichis, chichitas,
>>>> chicken-breasted, choozies, chuberteens, chubbies, chubblies,
>>>> chubs, chudleighs, chumbawumbas, chungas, chupas, circulus venosus
>>>> of Haller, classy pair, cliff, coat hangers, cokernuts, cones,
>>>> contours, cow-tits, cow-uddered, cream jugs, croopers, cupcakes,
>>>> Cupids kettledrums, cups, dairies, dairy farm, desirable fleshy
>>>> parts, devils, diddies, diddleys, dindins, dinners, dirty pillows,
>>>> docker's thumbs, dockyard rivets, dodas, doll-tits, dollies,
>>>> Dollys, doos, double D cups, double D's, double-diddied, draggy
>>>> udders, droopers, dubbies, dubs, dugs, dumplings, Dutch Alps,
>>>> dzwoonies, east and west, easts and wests, elders, ellens, endearing
>>>> physical
>>>> attributes, eye-pleasing fruit, fat flabs, fat sacks,
>>>> featherweights, feeding bottles, female appurtenances, female
>>>> bubbies, female charms, female goodies, female upper bombosities,
>>>> filled-out, flab hangings, flabby melons, flapjacks, flat as a
>>>> board, flat as a pancake, flat-chested, flesh bag, flesh bombs,
>>>> fleshy bagpipes, fleshy interests, fleshy parts, fleshy charms,
>>>> flip-flaps, flip-flops, floppers, floppy tits, floppy whites,
>>>> flops, flyspecks, fore-buttocks, fountain, fried eggs, frontage,
>>>> front bumpers, frontal development, fuck udders, full-bosomed,
>>>> full-figured, full load, full pack, fulsome, fun bags, garbanzos,
>>>> gavabos, gazongas, gentleman's pleasure, gib teesurbs, glandular
>>>> endowments, good set of lungs, goodies, goonas, grapefruits,
>>>> grapes, graysons, grids, groodies, growths, guavas, gubbs,
>>>> hammertons, hammocks, hand-warmers, handfuls, headers, headlamps,
>>>> headlights,
>>>> heavers, hee-haws, hemispheres, hills, hills of paradise,
>>>> Hindenburgs, honchos, honeydew melons, honeydews, honkers, hooters,
>>>> howitzers, hubbies, Irish draperies, ivory hills, jaboos, jabs,
>>>> jalobies, jellies, Jersey Cities, jibs, jiggle bosoms, jigglers,
>>>> jigglies, jobblies, jubbies, jublies, jubblies, jubes, juicy
>>>> peaches, jumblaaters, jumbos, kahunas, kajoobies, kettledrums,
>>>> kitten's noses, knobbies, lactoids, lactopoietic glands, lemons,
>>>> Lewis and Witties, little drinks, loaded, loaves, loblollies,
>>>> lobular hemispheres, lollies, lollos, love blobs, love bubbles,
>>>> love buds, love muffins, love pads, love pillows, loves
>>>> strawberries, lovelies, lovely bunch of cokernuts, lulus, lumps,
>>>> lung nuts, lung warts, M & Ms, Mae West, maiden pinks, majonkers,
>>>> mamas, mamazulons, mamilla, mammaries, mammary glands, mammary
>>>> mounds, mammets, mammilate, mammilia, mams, mamms, manapuas, Manchester
>>>> Cities,
>>>> manchesters, mangoes, maracas, Mary Poppins, masobs, massive
>>>> mammaries, mastos, mastunculi, matched set, mazoomas, mcguffies,
>>>> meat loaves, meat market, meatballs, meguffies, melons, memories,
>>>> mesoseinia, mezoomas, midgies, milk bar, milk bags, milk bottle,
>>>> milk buckets, milk churners, milk factories, milk glands, milk
>>>> jugs, milk sacks, milk shop, milkers, milkshakes, milky way, the,
>>>> mimpins, mochi hills, mods and rockers, mollicoes, molehills,
>>>> mollies, moon balloons, mosobs, mosquito bites, mounds, mounds of
>>>> lilies, mount of lilies, mount everests, mountains, muffins,
>>>> mulligans, mumbas, murphies, nacks, nancies, nature's founts, nay-nays,
>>>> nenes,
>>>> niblets, nice handfuls, nice pair of eyes, nice puppies, nice set,
>>>> ninnies, ninny jugs, nippers, nipply, nipply doo dahs, nips, niptastic
>>>> mate,
>>>> nittits, nobs, nodules, noogies, Norgen-Vaazes, norgies, norgs,
>>>> norks, Norma Snockers, nubbies, nubbins, nubs, nuggies, nugs,
>>>> num-nums, nummies, nums, nungers, nupies, of classic proportions,
>>>> oomlaaters, oranges, orbs of snow, other parts, ottomans, over the
>>>> shoulder, overblaaters, pair, pair of Cupids kettledrums, pair of
>>>> headlights, pair of kettledrums, pair of mammaries, palookas,
>>>> palpable characters, pancakes, panters, pantry shelves, pap heads,
>>>> papayas, papilla, paps, pasties, peach of a pair, peaches, peaks,
>>>> peanuts, pears, pechitos, pectoral bubbies, pectoral bulges,
>>>> pectoral eminences, pectoral excurvations, pectoral handfuls,
>>>> pectoral ninnies, pects, peepers, pendulant breasts, perkies,
>>>> personalities, picayunes, piggies, pillows, pimples, pimples on a
>>>> chest, pimples on the chest, pips, Play-Doh, pleasant eminences,
>>>> plumpies, plungers, pneumatic bliss, pointers, points, points of
>>>> interest, pokers, pom-poms, pontoons, ponts, poonts, porcelain
>>>> spheres, potatoes, poundering complexities, pretty lungs, prominent
>>>> bosom, pumpkins, pumps, puppies, pus glands, pygmies' cocks,
>>>> queenies, racks, rasberry ripple, raspberries, rib cushions, rising
>>>> beauties, roplopos, rosebuds, roundies, runts, sandbags, saggers,
>>>> saggy pig tits, sagging summer squash, scar-crossed prunes, scones,
>>>> scoops, semiglobes, set, set of jugs, shakers, shimmies, shock
>>>> absorbers, shoulder boulders, shop, skin sacks, slugs, smarties,
>>>> smosabs, smudges, smurfs, snorbs, snuggle pups, soft cadaby,
>>>> softest part of a woman's torso, speed bags, speed bumps, spheres,
>>>> spuds, squashy bits, spooters, stacks, stits, stonkers,
>>>> strawberries, stubs, superdroopers, superdupers, sweater dandies,
>>>> sweater meat,
>>>> sweater treats, sweaterful, sweet glands, sweet line, sweet rolls,
>>>> tabs, tale of two cities, tamales, tatas, tater tots, teacups,
>>>> teats, tetinas, tetitas, tetons, thousand pities, threepenny bits,
>>>> threateners, tic-tac smuggling, tic-tacs, tidbits, ties, tiskies,
>>>> tit-bits, tit for tats, tit tips, titch, tittens, titties, TNT, Tom
>>>> tit, tomatoes, toora-loorals, tooters, top buttocks, top-balls,
>>>> top-heavy, top ones, top set, top heavy, topside, toraloorals,
>>>> torpedoes, towns and cities, tracy bits, tray bits, treasure
>>>> chests, tremblers, turrets, twangers, twin lovelies, twin peaks,
>>>> twin hills, twin lovelies, twin peaks, two beebees on a bread
>>>> board, two raisins on a bread board, two on the town, two rounded
>>>> hillocks, twofers,
>>>> udders, umlauts, uglies, upper deck, upper decks, upper regions,
>>>> upper works, ups, upstairs, valley, vavooms, veiled twins, very
>>>> best, voos, wagons, waldos, wallopies, wammers, warheads, warts,
>>>> waterbags, watermelons, waawaas, wazzojugs, whammers, whamdanglers,
>>>> whoa mammas, whoppers, wobblers, woman's bunnies, wombies, wooly
>>>> west, wongas, world, yabbos, yams, zaftig, zeppelins, zeps, zoftig,
>>>> The boys, The girls, The Pointer Sisters, The twins, The uniboob,
>>>> Laverne and Shirley, Lucy and Ethel, Mickey and Minnie, Thelma and
>>>> Louise, Wilma and Betty.
>>>
>>> PMSL!!!!1!!!
>>>
>>> <aside> Had to save this one ... too good not to! :^)
>>
>> :)
>>
>> Glad you enjoyed it. I have lots more material where that came from.
>
> That would be lovely! :^)
> ... and much appreciated! :^)

Here, have a teaser... This was before I knew that trolling support groups
was frowned upon :)

I'm a very naughty boy, or so I'm told.

Goodbye Charlie - In Advance
============================

From: "Kadatcha Man"
Newsgroups: alt.support.grief.pet-loss
Subject: Goodbye Charlie ... in advance

I bought six new chooks last week. The last lot were just on 2 years
old and were at the end of their laying age so they became their respective
namesakes... Dinner, Fricassee, Tonight, Cordonbleu, A La King and Stew...
you get the idea.

Just on sunrise, I did my regular morning chores, take a shower, have
a smoke ... on my second smoke, I went out to feed the chooks. I was, to say
the least, stunned. Feathers were strewn across one of the paddocks in all
directions. It looked like an aircraft impact zone... big splatters of
feathers here trailing off in one direction there... six splatters in all.

There were feathers trailing off behind the chook shed from one
splatter, feathers trailing off from another splatter behind the swimming
pool pump house... Complete and utter disaster... My immediate thought was
"FOX!" But then a single fox wouldn't have killed six chooks. I opened the
gate into the main paddock to survey the wreckage. I began surmising that a
few wily foxes had cunningly worked in unspoken unison in order to have a
feast at my expense. Seeing it was just after dawn, it was possible that the
foxes were still lurking... so I called for Charlie.

Charlie is my new farm dog. I've had him about, oh 3 months now. He's
a beautiful Australian blue cattle dog. He has big doleful eyes and I've
trained him to pretend to drop dead on the floor when I point two fingers at
him and say "BANG!" It's a funny sight. The kids love it.

Anyway, Charlie came bolting over to the gate. It was then that I
noticed he had something white sticking out from under his top lip. As he
got closer, the realisation dawned on me... it was a feather. There was a
smattering of blood on his snout. I thought, "Nah! He's a farm dog." I went
into the chook shed and turned on the lights. Charlie sat outside waiting
for me.

Still doubting that Charlie could have been responsible for such a
thing, I began inspecting the prints in the sawdust -- as is the wont of a
Kadaitcha. There was no doubt. The prints were Charlie's. I reluctantly
locked him up and began to ponder my problem as I went about the rest of my
chores.

Charlie is a very intelligent dog. I thought of ways to train him not
to eat chooks but once a dog gets the taste for blood like that, they'll
kill for sheer fun. I was saddened at having to plot his demise. He had
already cost me six expensive, top quality, pullets -- there was no way I
was going to give him a dignified out by taking him to the vet...

Just now, I've finished polishing my trusty .2020 rifle. It has the
scent of fresh gun metal oil about it. Of course, I can't shoot Charlie just
because he ate six prized chooks -- I have to have a reason. In Australia,
it is legal only to shoot dogs without a licence if they are worrying sheep
and cattle.

A good friend of mine, a Kiwi, owns a property down the road. He
remarked just yesterday that one of his sheep needed to be put down. I rang
him just now and told him of the disaster. The old ewe will be here in an
hour. I've packed a lunch and a thermos of coffee. I'll leave the gate open
to the main paddock and I'll take up residence in the swimming pool pump
house.

The next "BANG!" Charlie hears will result in a .2020 bullet going
straight up his Khyber Pass - he fucking well won't be pretending to drop
dead this time.

Reply from Ginnie:

I can't believe you posted this rot here. You actually want our
sympathy for your shooting your dog over the loss of 6 chickens that YOU
were going to eat anyway? You'd actually kill Charlie because he cost you a
few dinners? I think you're kind of a heartless schmuck, and you surely
don't deserve a dog who loves you enough to learn tricks for you after only
three months. Two pieces of advice:

1. Build a better chicken coop before you buy more chickens.

2. Don't get another dog... the dog will have a better life without
   you.

Okay, three: Don't treat your pets like disposable liabilities.

      Ginnie

p.s. Four: please don't post here any more. The folks here really love
their pets, and you obviously don't belong in this group.