Re: I wish this was fiction

["Crash Gordon" <webmaster@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

A few weeks ago I recieved a VM from a woman. I wish I can figure out a way
to record the message out of Qwest's VM, because this one is a doozy.

The woman starts off sounding very normal...and things go downhill from
there. The message was at least 5 minutes long.
Hi, this is Suzy Whatever, you know my uncle Bill NoIDont he lives down the
block from me.  She leaves her real phone number. I wish you would remove
those overhead transmitters (UH OH...here we go) that I know you installed
or someone you know installed. They are radiating signals to my brain and
are effecting my blood. (HUH?) Please, I would like you to remove them
because it's causing problems with my blood and it's effecting my job.

Ok...that was the jist of it...but it went on for 5 minutes...she was very
polite...and the whole thing was so wierd...we are still laughing at this
one! I keep it saved on my VM for S&G's every now and then.



"Everywhere Man" <alarminstall@xxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:1158393581.777085.42110@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
| Why is it that people will spend tens of thousands of dollars for newer
| cars, televisions, stereo equipment, computer upgrades, golf clubs,
| furniture, and every other bobble or goody but they have no issue using
| a prehistoric system, or some DIY crapola they bought on Ebay to
| protect that stuff plus the lives of their loved ones?
|
| I was going through some older lead files and ran across this doozy.
|
| There's a character in a multi-million dollar brownstone in Manhattan's
| Upper East Side we designed a pretty sweet system for (all doors,
| accessible windows, skylights, 2 fires on every living level, heats in
| the basement, motions, glassbreaks, etc, etc, etc,). Bozo had just
| purchased the house with a basic ADT system (the motion was 3 feet from
| the floor next to the fireplace) in there from the year of the flood,
| and couldn't understand why none of that equipment could be used. He
| also couldn't believe he had to pay more than $99.00 for the
| installation because ADT would activate his system for free (or so he
| said). Customers love to throw comments like that out there in hopes it
| spooks an alarm company to dropping price. He also mentioned he was
| considering a DIY option without monitoring.
|
| So what does this filthy rich slob choose to do to protect his home?
|
| a- install our system at a cost over $5000.00?
|
| b- ADT activating their ancient system for free?
|
| c- the local alarm DIY option?
|
| d- Protect America's postage due security system?
|
| If you said C you are correct. He installed a Visonic Powermax.
| And HOW you ask do I know this? He called me. And WHY you ask did he
| call me? He wanted to know if I would help him program it.
|
|
| Next we come across a lady from Scarsdale who saw the TV commercial for
| a Free demonstration and wanted an appointment. The rep gets to her
| house, introduces himself, and she says "it's right over here".
| He asks her "what is right over there?".
| She says "the alarm panel. It says all it needs is a battery can you
| take care of that for me?"
| He asks her if she's under a contract with anyone to which she says no.
| He asks her who monitors the system and she says "oh I'm not interested
| in any service can you just replace the battery?"
| My cell phone rings and he's explaining this to me. I ask to speak to
| the lady. She gets on the phone and before I can say boo she says "I
| don't understand why there's so much trouble involved with replacing a
| battery. I'm not interested in any service or paying any fees so either
| fix it for free or I'll just find someone else to do it"
| Apparently the world owes her a living as well.
|
|
| Another Manhattan brownstone owner has an insurance company where the
| policy requires he install a system. Now this guy has no interest in
| installing a system so he offers to pay $99.00 just for the Certificate
| of Installation. When he's told NO he demands to speak to the owner so
| he can tell me how my rep just blew a $99.00 sale.
|
| And I thought the guy who wanted a system with no entry/exit delays, no
| yard sign, no window stickers, and no SIREN was a goof.
|
|
| The Service Call of the Week award goes to my favorite FC (Failure to
| Communicate) customer (but not favorite service call) once again.
| Yes, she called again to tell me how my alarm system doesn't work right
| because every time the phone company disconnects her
| the keypad acts up.
| The concept of paying the phone bill escapes her.
|
| My all-time favorite customer for service calls is the fellow who
| believes some type of spirit is tampering with his alarm cables, and
| unplugging his transformer.
| And before anyone says to have the guy call another certain alarm
| company ................. HUSH.
|
| The more and more I come across this kind of crap the more and more I
| believe the TV ads are running only on Comedy Central.
|