I wish this was fiction

["Everywhere Man" <alarminstall@xxxxxxx>]

Why is it that people will spend tens of thousands of dollars for newer
cars, televisions, stereo equipment, computer upgrades, golf clubs,
furniture, and every other bobble or goody but they have no issue using
a prehistoric system, or some DIY crapola they bought on Ebay to
protect that stuff plus the lives of their loved ones?

I was going through some older lead files and ran across this doozy.

There's a character in a multi-million dollar brownstone in Manhattan's
Upper East Side we designed a pretty sweet system for (all doors,
accessible windows, skylights, 2 fires on every living level, heats in
the basement, motions, glassbreaks, etc, etc, etc,). Bozo had just
purchased the house with a basic ADT system (the motion was 3 feet from
the floor next to the fireplace) in there from the year of the flood,
and couldn't understand why none of that equipment could be used. He
also couldn't believe he had to pay more than $99.00 for the
installation because ADT would activate his system for free (or so he
said). Customers love to throw comments like that out there in hopes it
spooks an alarm company to dropping price. He also mentioned he was
considering a DIY option without monitoring.

So what does this filthy rich slob choose to do to protect his home?

a- install our system at a cost over $5000.00?

b- ADT activating their ancient system for free?

c- the local alarm DIY option?

d- Protect America's postage due security system?

If you said C you are correct. He installed a Visonic Powermax.
And HOW you ask do I know this? He called me. And WHY you ask did he
call me? He wanted to know if I would help him program it.


Next we come across a lady from Scarsdale who saw the TV commercial for
a Free demonstration and wanted an appointment. The rep gets to her
house, introduces himself, and she says "it's right over here".
He asks her "what is right over there?".
She says "the alarm panel. It says all it needs is a battery can you
take care of that for me?"
He asks her if she's under a contract with anyone to which she says no.
He asks her who monitors the system and she says "oh I'm not interested
in any service can you just replace the battery?"
My cell phone rings and he's explaining this to me. I ask to speak to
the lady. She gets on the phone and before I can say boo she says "I
don't understand why there's so much trouble involved with replacing a
battery. I'm not interested in any service or paying any fees so either
fix it for free or I'll just find someone else to do it"
Apparently the world owes her a living as well.


Another Manhattan brownstone owner has an insurance company where the
policy requires he install a system. Now this guy has no interest in
installing a system so he offers to pay $99.00 just for the Certificate
of Installation. When he's told NO he demands to speak to the owner so
he can tell me how my rep just blew a $99.00 sale.

And I thought the guy who wanted a system with no entry/exit delays, no
yard sign, no window stickers, and no SIREN was a goof.


The Service Call of the Week award goes to my favorite FC (Failure to
Communicate) customer (but not favorite service call) once again.
Yes, she called again to tell me how my alarm system doesn't work right
because every time the phone company disconnects her
the keypad acts up.
The concept of paying the phone bill escapes her.

My all-time favorite customer for service calls is the fellow who
believes some type of spirit is tampering with his alarm cables, and
unplugging his transformer.
And before anyone says to have the guy call another certain alarm
company ................. HUSH.

The more and more I come across this kind of crap the more and more I
believe the TV ads are running only on Comedy Central.