Re: I'm sorry we don't provide service for...

[Matt Ion <soundy@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

As a 3M Canada service center, we often get calls to check out
drive-thru intercom systems... and those drive-thrus are notoriously bad
with paying their invoices.  Most times we get shuffled back and forth
between the franchisee and the head office debating over who has to
actually pay for things.

So most of them are now on a C.O.D. basis - you give me cash when I get
there, THEN I fix things... otherwise I go home, and you still get an
invoice for my time.

Robert L Bass wrote:
> Following is an alternate solution which has worked for one small
> alarm company in the past, typically on a Sunday morning or
> during the middle of a holiday weekend.
>
> Ring...
>
> Them (with 90+ days past due balance):  "The alarm is beeping.
> Can you help us."
>
> Alarmco: "Certainly.  We'll be right over.  We will need to have
> your check for the past due balance plus the service charge for
> today's visit plus the price of the battery when we arrive."
>
> The response was invariably affirmative.  On one occasion the
> client tried to duck when the service man arrived, pretending he
> had to "run to the store" and would be right back with the check.
> Alarmco told him to call when he got back and they would return
> to fix his alarm.  He sat down and wrote the check.
>
> Other than that the few times alarmco had to do this the check
> was handed over upon arrival.  Technician wouldn't even bring
> tool kit from the truck until the check was in hand though.
>
> One time a customer paid for a service visit with a rubber check.
> Alarmco called him several times at his store to inform him the
> check had bounced.  His wife / business partner would always
> insist he wasn't around but she'd "give him the message."  This
> got a little old so after a month or so alarmco called him at
> home.  The wife again answered.  Alarmco explained they were
> about to cancel the monitoring service and would no longer
> service the system.
>
> Client, who supposedly wasn't home at the time, got on the phone
> and began cursing.  Alarmco offered to disable alarm and cancel
> the debt.  Client said, "Go ahead. I don't give a #### what you
> do."
>
> Next morning:  Client opens door to store and horn sounds
> immediately.  Client enters code.  Nothing.  Enters code again.
> Nothing.
>
> Ring....
>
> Client: "Hello, this is [client].  I need someone to service my
> alarm."
>
> Alarmco: "Sure thing.  There will be a fee of $70 for the service
> visit PLUS the past due balance PLUS the $30 returned check fee."
>
> Client: "No problem.  I have my checkbook..."
>
> Alarmco: "Fees are payable in cash at the time the technician
> arrives."
>
> Client: "[jiminism deleted]...  Oh, alright!  When can you get
> here?"
>
> Alarmco: "would you prefer an afternoon or morning visit?"  :^)
>
> --
>
> Regards,
> Robert L Bass
>
> Bass Burglar Alarms
> The Online DIY Store
> http://www.BassBurglarAlarms.com
>
> On Sun, 15 Jan 2006 09:32:32 -0700, "Bob La Londe"
> <usenet@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>
>
>>... customers with a past due balance.
>>
>>
>>Typical timeline:
>>Day 1 9:45PM
>>Them:   We can't arm the alarm.  It must be broken...
>>Us:       Ok, bypass the problem zone and we will stop by to fix it in the
>>morning.
>>Day 2 10:00am    Door contact torn off dooor replaced.
>>Day 3 Time unknown.  Customer invoiced.
>>
>>Day 35 Past due notice sent.
>>Day 65 +/- Past due notice sent
>>Day....
>>
>>Day 120 +
>>Them:  Can you tell us about the activity on our alarm?
>>Us:      Sure this should answer your question.  Oh by the way, you have a
>>past due invoice and we don't perform service for anybody with a past due
>>balance.  You might want to take care of that before anything else comes up.
>>Them:  Oh, we didn't know there was a charge.  We thought all those
>>statements marked urgent payment information required were just our monthly
>>activity reports.  We will take care of it right away
>>Us:       Ok, Thank you.
>>
>>Day 160-180 +/-
>>Them:    (message left with service) The alarm is beeping.  Can you fix it?
>>
>>...five minutes later
>>Us:         (After checking alarm history)  Hmmm  low battery.
>>
>>Call 1 Premise:  Busy
>>Call 2 Premise:  Busy
>>Call 3 Premise:  FAX MACHINE ?!?
>>Call 4 RP 1:      Voice mail full
>>Call 5 RP 1:      Voice mail full
>>(verifiy number with directory services)
>>Call 6 RP 2:      Disconnected
>>Call 7 RP 3:      Don't work there anymore.
>>
>>Check accounting system for any alternative numbers.
>>Hmmm...  Customer has substantially past due balance.
>>Oh, well they will call back when it gets too annoying.
>>
>>Day 190+ Sent past due notice.  With note.  "We are continuing to receive
>>'low battery' signals from your alarm system.  We would be glad to stop by
>>and take care of that for you, but we do not perfrom service for customers
>>with past due balances.  Plase pay your past due balance and schedule
>>service to replace your low battery."
>>
>>Day 200+ on Sunday morning.
>>Them:     The alarm is beeping can you fix it.
>>Us:         You have a low battery, but unfortunately we do not perform
>>service for custoemrs with a past due balance.
>>Them:     Oh, I thought we took care of that after I talked to you last
>>time.
>>Us:         Sorry, we have not received it.  Hence why you have received
>>several past due notices since then.
>>Them:     Oh, well is there anything you can do for us?
>>Us:         (subvocalized) You want us to do weekend (overtime) service for
>>you for a problem you have had for several weeks even though you have a past
>>due balance that you have deliberately ignored for 2/3s of a year?
>>Outloud:  I'm terribly sorry, but we do not perform service for customers
>>with a past due balance.  You can call us on Monday to settle this isue.
>>Them:     Well its beeping.  Is there anythign I can do to shut it up?
>>Us:         With that particular panel the only way to permanently stop the
>>beeping (and still have an alarm system) is to replace the bad battery.
>>Sorry.
>>Them:     Can you help us?  Please give us a call on Monday to take care of
>>the the payment issue and we will be glad schedule a time to replace your
>>battery for you.
>>
>>Back and forth period.
>>
>>Click.
>>
>>Ring Ring  (CID says same client) They can go to voice mail
>>Ring Ring  (CID says same client) They can go to voice mail
>>Ring Ring  (CID says same client) They can go to voice mail
>>Ring Ring  (CID says same client) They can go to voice mail
>>
>>Never left message with voice mail.
>>
>>Maybe they will call on Monday and make arrangements to pay their bill, and
>>maybe they will call some other alarm company to change their battery.  That
>>would be nice.  I can write them off as a bad debt and they can be somebody
>>else's collection headache.
>
>


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