OT: Primary School Science Exams

[Frank Olson <Use_the_email_links@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Some questions and answers culled from a number of Grade Four/Five
Science exams:

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.


Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.


Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.


Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.


Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends
to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and
nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.


Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.


Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.


Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery


Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.


Q: What is artificial insemination?
A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.


Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g. abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts---the brainium, the borax and
the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax
contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five
bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.


Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.


Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.


Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.


Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.