Re: Don't heistate with fire protection

[Frank Olson <Use_the_email_links@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

JoeRaisin wrote:
> About four years ago my boys became close friends with a kid they met at
> their tea kwon do school.  They all enjoyed snowboarding (winter) and
> skateboarding (summer).  he even became a black belt at the same time as
> my younger boy (15yo).
>
> We have a very large driveway and he has some nice hills behind his
> house so it quickley became the norm for them to spend most of the
> summer at our house and most of the winter at his.
>
> His parents are very nice folks and we visited their house along with
> our kids many time and vice-versa.
>
> I noticed they had no fire protection in their very old house.  I had
> commented to Doug many times that I could easily throw together a simple
> fire system from stuff I had salvaged during takeovers and tear downs
> but we would have to buy a few wireless smokes (four would have done it).
>
> We both agreed it would be a good idea and I even started throwing some
> stuf in a box but I never got around to doing it.  I had everything
> together and could have easily gotten a few smokes from our service
> department at reduced cost - but agan, I never could seem to find the time.
>
> Saturday morning at around 4 am the house burned to the ground and my 18
> year old son was the only one who didn't get out.
>
> The other two boys in the home at the time said that when they woke up
> they couldn't get through the house to the room my son had gone to sleep
> in.  It wouldn't have mattered as the investigator (who at this time is
> leaning towards electrical in the kitchen ceiling) believes (based on
> the descriptions from the those two) that since my son had his bedroom
> door open he was most likely already gone (from the smoke) by the time
> the other two woke up at the other end of the house.
>
> Had I not screwed around and done what I knew needed doing they would
> have at least had a chance of waking up before it was too late and my
> son would still be teaching tae kwon do and going to school.
>
> I wouldn't be sitting here waiting until Monday so they can take his
> body down state to be identified (he was the only other one who could
> have been in the house).  We don't know when we will be getting him back.
>
> If you have any family or friends who are not adequately or even
> rudimentarily protected don't wait.  Do it today.
>
> Don't let a loved one die because you procrastinate.  Everyone is aying
> it was an accident and that these things happen.  I know better.  He is
> dead because I saw something that needed to be done and I simply didn't
> do it.  It is a father's duty to protect his children.


You can't and shouldn't blame yourself.  It wasn't your responsibility
to install smoke detectors in the house in the first place.  I do agree
that every parent has the responsibility to ensure their children's
safety but there are times when they will be away from that protection
and their only "shield" will be what you've taught them to watch out
for.  You can't go around blaming yourself for what happened even though
I know you will.  All of us can relate to what you've posted here in
some small way (and I don't wish to appear to diminish what you're going
through).  We all know of customers that have opted NOT to include smoke
alarms or a carbon monoxide detector in their alarm installations.  You
have to realize that it's *their* decision and that you aren't obligated
to include it "free" out of "moral conscience" or feelings of guilt that
might be engendered when we read of such a tragic accident as what
befell your son (and family).  Joe.  It *is* an accident.  You might
think it could have been avoided, but you really don't know that for
sure.  For what it's worth, you could have supplied them with any number
of wireless smoke alarms but what if the homeowner never changed the
batteries (or ignored the low battery signal)?  Please don't blame
yourself.  Please forgive yourself.  Take care and God Bless!  My
prayers are with you and your family.