Re: How to sing the Blues -OT

[Robert L Bass <sales@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

> 4. The Blues is not about choice: you stuck in a ditch,
> you stuck in a ditch - ain't no way out.

Sounds like a description of the Bush administration, except that
they're fabulously wealthy and tend to avoid ditches.

> 6. Teenagers can't sing the Blues. They ain't fixin' to die yet. Adults sing
> the Blues. In Blues, "adulthood" means being old enough to get the electric
> chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.

What's the minimum age in Texas, six?

> 10. Good places for the Blues:
> a. highway
> b. jailhouse
> c. empty bed
> d. bottom of a whiskey glass

e. Olson's counter

> 11. Bad places for the Blues:
> a. Nordstrom's
> b. gallery openings
> c. Ivy League institutions
> d. golf courses

e. Brazil

> 13. Do you have the right to sing the Blues?
> Yes, if:
> a. you older than dirt
> b. you blind
> c. you shot a man in Memphis
> d. you can't be satisfied

e. you hit a kid in Brooklyn with a hammer?

> 14. Ugly white people also got a leg up on the blues.

You got me.

> 15. If you ask for water and your darlin' give you gasoline, it's the Blues.
> Other acceptable Blues beverages are:
> a. cheap wine
> b. whiskey or bourbon
> c. muddy water
> d. nasty black coffee

e. Canadian beer

> The following are NOT Blues beverages:
> a. Perrier
> b. Chardonnay
> c. Snapple
> d. Slim Fast

e. Gatorade

> 16. If death occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it's a Blues death.
> Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die. So is
> the electric chair, substance abuse and dying lonely on a broken down cot.
> You can't have a Blues death if you die during a tennis match or while
> getting liposuction...

...Unless the lips belong to that 500 pound woman mentioned
earlier.

> 17. Some Blues names for women:
> a. Sadie
> b. Big Mama
> c. Bessie
> d. Fat River Dumpling

e. Jiminex

> 18. Some Blues names for men:
> a. Joe
> b. Willie
> c. Little Willie
> d. Big Willie

e. Jiminex

--

Regards,
Robert L Bass

Bass Burglar Alarms
The Online DIY Store
http://www.BassBurglarAlarms.com