RE: Wildly off-topic - The Return of the King

["Phil Harris" <phil@xxxxxxx>]

And people used to bitch about me being off topic!!!

Phil

> -----Original Message-----
> From: Mark Harrison <Mark@xxxxxxx> [mailto:Mark@xxxxxxx]
> Sent: 01 February 2003 14:02
> To: ukha_d@xxxxxxx
> Subject: [ukha_d] Wildly off-topic - The Return of the King
>
>
> }  --The Most Startling Changes in the film version of RotK
--
> }
> } 10. Tom Bombadil!! Tom has relocated! He now lives between
> }     Osgiliath and Cirith Ungol. He provides
shelter for
> }     Gollum, Sam and Frodo as events unfurl in
Minas Tirith.
> }     The images of him dancing around like a fool
with The
> }     Mountains of Shadow in the background are
disturbing to
> }     say the least. "Fans wanted Tom, so I
gave it to them!"
> }     says Jackson.
> }
> } 09. Merry kills the Witch King with a wet towel! The Witch
> }     King has Eowyn by the hair, his evil steed
is munching
> }     on Theoden's head. Then SNAP! Merry knocks
the Witch
> }     King's crown off with a sodden banner he
finds in the
> }     midst of Pelennor Fields which somehow kills
the undead
> }     lord, go figure. This is made all the worse
by a creepy
> }     flashback Merry has right before the deed of
a wet towel
> }     fight with Fatty Bolger and the lads back at
Crickhollow.
> }
> } 08. Legolas gets a finger cut off by Gimili's ax by accident.
> }     Using 'Elf Magic' he makes the missing digit
regrow like
> }     some high speed lizard tail. This is
supposed to be some
> }     kind of foreshadowing. "Viewers like
foreshadowing," said
> }     Jackson.
> }
> } 07. Gimli falls in a latrine pit at Minas Tirith. I really
> }     don't want to say anymore about this.
Yeech.
> }
> } 06. When Pippin looks in a palanti'r and sees a waving New Line
> }     Cinema logo, -then- the Red Eye.
> }
> } 05. A red headed woman of extraordinary beauty sees the Hobbits
> }     at Aragorn's Coronation and says aloud
"Hobbits! Well, what
> }     is next? I have heard of strange doings in
this land, but
> }     I have seldom heard of..." then her
lines get drown out
> }     by the blare of horns. Peter Jackson
explains, "I got
> }     more email asking to include that line that
you can imagine,
> }     so I put it in. It's details like this that
make my film
> }     so true to the spirit of Tolkien."
> }
> } 04. On the Paths of the Dead, Aragorn meets up with the ghost
> }     of Christmas 2001, 2002, and 2003. All of
which are played
> }     by Peter Jackson. "Hey, these ARE
holiday films too, what
> }     says that better than an allusion to Charles
Dickens?"
> }     explains Jackson.
> }
> } 03. The Dance of the Pumpkins. Trust me, you don't want to know
> }     anymore about this.
> }
> } 02. Faramir gets killed. For reals. Gandalf marries Eowyn in
> }     a double ceremony with Aragorn and
Arwen.
> }
> } 01. Sam SHOVES Gollum into the Crack of Doom. "Die Stinker!
> }     And here's a finger from me!" a line
and a accompanying
> }     gesture that will live in film infamy.
>
>
>
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